Currency Forecast

Technical Analysis, or “What the charts are trying to tell us, if we listen really hard”:

This ambitious endeavor arose amidst a gathering of the nation’s leading minds—banks, crypto-exchanges, fintech wizards, and the venerable National Bank. Their noble goal? To make using cryptocurrency as natural as sipping kumis at a summer festival—easier, safer, and perhaps a tad more fashionable. The plan involves these newfangled crypto cards, which, when used, turn your digital treasures into the humble ruble (or local currency, if you prefer). In a marvel of modern wizardry, your digital assets are converted automatically and promptly to pay for bread, vodka, or whatever the Kazakhs decide is essential. All this, while making it seem as effortless as herding sheep—though we all know sheep are more predictable than financial markets. 🐑💸

Cardano (ADA) has managed a modest rise of 2.56% since yesterday—so much for the doom and gloom, eh? Looks like it’s having a little upward joyride, just enough to make us question our life choices. 🎢

In just the last 24 hours, DOGE has shot up by a modest 2.8%. Nothing too wild — just enough to keep traders on their toes, clutching their digital wallets and hoping they didn’t miss the boat. 🌊

Forty-one of these companies are holding around 673,897 Bitcoin—that’s a lot of digital gold, or so they say. And Michael Saylor? The man’s got nearly 581K of these things, probably thinking he’s the Bitcoin king. 👑

According to the corporate scrolls—also known as the latest filing—the company has applied to open an account with Coinbase Prime. Here, they’ll secure their precious Bitcoin, dabble with USDC, and play with self-custody wallets, all while pretending they’ve been blockchain enthusiasts since 2012. SolarBank is, of course, still busy with their solar and battery storage projects in North America. Because clean energy is still the bread and butter, even when you’re dipping it in cryptocurrency. 🌞

As the market twitches and flutters, it turns out the big fish—those deep-pocketed whales—are quietly busy, stacking more Bitcoin like they’re preparing for the next stock market apocalypse. Even though Bitcoin briefly dipped below $78,000 back on March 11, these financial whales kept their cool, gradually swelling their treasure chests. Now, according to Darkfost—who’s apparently a big deal in the smart crypto circles—the whales are holding an ever-growing amount of BTC, especially wallets holding between 1,000 and 10,000 coins. Who says whales aren’t sentimental? They’re clearly bullish about the future—probably dreaming of a digital Atlantis.

With this investment, Orionx has sealed the deal on its Series A raise, led by Tether. But wait, there’s more! In 2023, they also secured an undisclosed amount in a round led by Bitfinex, Tether’s glamorous sister company. The family business, if you will.

Le CoinDesk 20, tel un noble cavalier, s’élève à la hauteur de 3122.04, en grignotant une tendre hausse de 2.5% (soit 75.55) depuis l’heure bénie de 16 heures ce lundi. Que dis-je! Tout le troupeau est en fête car les vingt actifs dansent ensemble, tous en hausse comme des amoureux éperdus. 🎉

But wait, it gets better. The clever folks at FUNToken have just launched an AI-powered Telegram bot that hands out crypto like candy to anyone who posts something clever, fun, or high-quality. Memes, jokes, insightful comments — if it’s good, the bot rewards you instantly. No ads, no nonsense. Just crypto. 💸