Ah, the grand theatre of cryptocurrency unfolds once more! Behold, dear reader, as Gemini-the brainchild of those ever-so-ambitious Winklevoss twins-decides to grace the European Union with its staking and perpetual futures offerings. Truly, a spectacle worthy of Tolstoy himself, though perhaps with fewer bearded peasants and more blockchain enthusiasts. 😅
The Core Team, in their grand soliloquy, proclaimeth that this new Version doth rest upon Stellar v23, yet tailored for Pi’s noble stage. ‘Tis to grant more power and tricks to the players, they vow. Among these, the embedding of Know-Your-Customer authorities-a move to keep Pi’s blockchain pure and verified, while allowing the crowd to judge its own. A distributed KYC, they call it, though one wonders if ’tis but a mask for old woes. 😷
Meanwhile, lesser lights do find themselves beset by adversity, painting a scene of mercantile turbulence most entertaining.
Apparently, a whopping 66% of all card transactions in the Eurozone are handled by non-European entities. 66%! That’s…a lot. And with that comes fees. And risks to monetary sovereignty. Which sounds awfully dramatic, doesn’t it? Like the Euro is a fragile porcelain doll that might shatter if someone uses an American credit card. Cipollone also mentioned these “stablecoins” coming out of the US – the “Genius Act,” they call it. Clever name. Just absolutely brimming with humility. It’s like a digital arms race, only with money. And the potential for things to go spectacularly wrong. 🤯
Upon the sacred grounds of social media, and notably on the fourth of September, Balchunas, an augur of cryptic markets, espies a prospectus from REX Shares, an entity as mysterious as it is ambitious. Signed with the initials DOJE, the prospectus suggests a prolific emergence-instantly, like the bewildering flight of a raven-though not without caution. This pragmatic manifesto dallies with the polar opposites of digital currency: Ethereum, Bitcoin, Solana, and even the audacious Trump, and the notorious BONK.
XRP, at this very moment, is showing signs that “sell now, buy never” is the new mantra across the spot market. Oh, and the Network Value to Transactions? Skyrocketed! 🚀
Apparently, they intend to “stake” this SOL. Which, in the incredibly complex world of cryptocurrency, means locking it up in the hopes that it generates more SOL. It’s a bit like breeding rabbits, only with significantly more existential dread. They bought 196,141 SOL at $202.76 a pop. The sheer precision of that number is mildly unsettling.
Delivered upon us by none other than Stripe’s esteemed CEO, Patrick Collison, who with a flourish of his quill, declared via the illustrious X platform that “existing blockchains are not optimized” to bear the weight of stablecoins across the grand Stripe payment stage. A brave proclamation indeed!
Yet, in truth, this event was but a modest echo compared to the grand melee of the preceding week’s end-of-month spectacle. Thus, the markets, veiled in their familiar shade of crimson-ever the harbingers of fate-showed no great agitation. They whispered among themselves but did not roar.
For two months now, it’s been stuck between thirty-six and fifty dollars – a purgatory for speculators. A four-hundred percent rally in the first half of 2025…a fleeting moment of madness, I say! Now, the “market watchers” are whispering about a breakout above fifty. Whispers, mind you, not shouts. Always whispers.
