The same report-sandwiched between napkin notes and discarded receipts-suggests that blockchain infrastructure is just about ready for prime time. How marvelous! This improvement has attracted millions of new cryptocurrency users, pushing the total old and young-sorry unrecognized adults-to somewhere between 40 and 70 million.
The CME-listed futures for both XRP and Solana hit record levels of open interest on Monday, a sign that the world simply cannot get enough of these “regulated” crypto products.
With the dexterity of a 1920s gentleman-hack chronicling the escapades of languid aristocrats in posh hellholes, a multi-agency investigation (led by Grant County Sheriff’s Office physicians of justice) unearthed a clandestine shipment of 1,000 Bitcoin mining rigs (valued at roughly enough to buy a castle in Estonia). The arcane heist, it appears, involved swapping schnitzel with turkeys. How vulgar.
They say they will launch this marvel in the first half of 2026, as if predicting the future is a simple matter, much like forecasting the weather in a storm of cryptocurrencies. The stablecoin will be issued by Anchorage Digital Bank, which sounds like a bank for digital creatures-probably some sort of binary beast. It’s federally regulated, because of course it is, the government loves a little digital thrill now and then. The plan? Users will be able to access USDPT via partner exchanges-because nothing says trust like a bit of corporate dance amid the blockchain chaos. 🔗
According to Coinspeaker (yes, the same folks who told you Bitcoin was going to the moon 🚀), the nearcore v2.9.0 release dropped on October 21, suggesting this calorie-cutting plan. Validators who are here for it can upgrade to Protocol Version 81, while the rebels 🦹♂️ can stay cozy in Version 80. Stake delegators? Oh, you’ve got the power to redelegate and sway this vote like a reality TV finale. 📺
According to the wise sages at CoinWarz, the Bitcoin mining Difficulty is gearing up for a positive adjustment this Wednesday. Now, what’s this “Difficulty” you ask? Well, it’s the magical spell Satoshi wove into the BTC blockchain, ensuring miners don’t have it too easy (or too hard) when digging for those digital nuggets. 🧝♂️⛏️ No meddling third parties here-just pure, unadulterated code doing its thing. Every two weeks or so, the chain tweaks this metric to keep block times steady at around 10 minutes. Because, you know, consistency is key, even in the wild west of crypto. 🕰️🔄
While chatting with Scott Melker, the Wolf of All Streets, Saylor split the industry into “digital capital” (Bitcoin as digital gold) and “digital finance” (tokenized assets), positioning Strategy’s digital credit stack as the bridge that packages Bitcoin’s capital into income products that traditional investors can actually hold. He said the mission is simple: make yield modern and make it accessible. 🤷♂️
In case you’re not keeping track of every acronym in crypto (don’t worry, neither am I), x402 is a payment protocol that allows agent-to-agent transactions without the whole “logging in with your email or password” ordeal. Masumi, the protocol’s brainchild, is throwing its hat into the ring with a demo that’s got more technical jargon than a Silicon Valley board meeting. The demo involves something called a “memecoin mint” (yep, because why not?) that’s triggered by a small payment in USDM. No, this is not the next Dogecoin, relax. It’s just a demo… or is it?)
In this age of digital gold, where Bitcoin trades near its zenith, treasury companies continue their relentless accumulation. Yet, on a fateful Tuesday, October 28, the shares of American Bitcoin faltered, falling 6% after a triumphant rally the day before. Ah, the whims of the market! One moment a hero, the next a mere mortal. 🦹♂️→🧑
