Bitcoin’s Tightrope Dance: Profits Plummet, But Is the Show Over? 🎭💰

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Behold, comrades, the Bitcoin market is shedding its old skin, and the signs are as clear as a hangover on a Monday morning. 🍻🤕 The Bitcoin Spent Output Profit Ratio (SOPR) Trend Signal, that trusty old compass of the crypto seas, is pointing south. The rewards from shuffling coins across the network are dwindling, like a pensioner’s savings in a recession. Rapid price swings, once the playground of the nimble trader, now offer little more than a slap on the wrist. 🏃‍♂️💨

From Bitcoin to Billions: The Roberts Brothers’ AI Revolution 🚀💰

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Behold, the co-founders and co-CEOs of IREN Limited (IREN), a company that, like a phoenix from the ashes of bitcoin mining, has risen to claim its throne at the heart of the AI infrastructure boom. 🦅🔥 From the frigid landscapes of Canada, where it was born in 2018 as a humble renewable energy-powered bitcoin miner, IREN foresaw the true destiny of its endeavors-not in the ephemeral glow of cryptocurrency, but in the boundless expanse of artificial intelligence. Ah, the irony of it all! 😏

ETH’s Vanishing Act: Where Did All the Coins Go? 🎩✨

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Ethereum’s getting scarce on exchanges faster than a pocketbook at a poker table. Per Arab Chain’s report (yes, that market sage with a name like a desert), the ETH supply is shrinking like a puddle in a drought. It’s now at its skinniest since 2016-when folks were still arguing whether “crypto” was a word or a typo. This ain’t just holding; it’s hoarding, folks! Long-term storage’s the new black, and selling? Well, that’s as popular as a flat tire at a car show. 🏦🚀

George Osborne: From Politics to Pixels – Coinbase’s Newest Crypto Connoisseur! 💰🎩

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Earlier this week, while the world was busy with its usual chaos, Coinbase dipped its toes into the vibrant waters of India, receiving a nod from the Competition Commission of India for its audacious plan to acquire a minority stake in the local crypto trading platform CoinDCX. One must applaud such daring ventures-after all, what’s life without a little risk? 🍸

Jimmy Carr’s Bitcoin Revolution: UK’s Night-Time Power to the People! 🚀

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On the fateful day of the budget, Carr, in a TRIGGERnometry interview, unleashed his barbs upon the sacred cows of public finance. Why, he demanded, has the UK never established a sovereign wealth fund? Why do the winds that sweep the coast and the black gold beneath the soil enrich only the Crown? 🏰💰 “There are certain things,” he declared, with a wink and a nod, “that should belong to everyone.” A sentiment so radical, it might as well have been carved into the heart of a socialist manifesto-though Carr, ever the contrarian, disavowed such labels. “I’m not a socialist. I’m not even for state capitalism,” he quipped, before advocating for assets that “should belong to everyone.” 🌍🤡

Pi Network’s PI: A Hedge or a Hype? 🚀💸

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However, Pi Network’s native token, PI, has been a curious exception, holding its ground above $0.20. Notably, this is not the first time such a feat has occurred in recent months. Perhaps it’s time to question whether PI is a phoenix or just a very well-dressed parrot. 🦜

Telegram’s Stocking Up: U.S. Equities Get a Swanky Blockchain Makeover! 🚀💼

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According to the whispers in the crypto corridors (or a press release sneaked out to CryptoPotato), this little launch promises to turn Telegram into a veritable Wall Street of the digital age-minus the bad coffee and sharp suits. Imagine buying, selling, and transferring your stocky treasures directly within Telegram-because who needs a broker when you’ve got chat bubbles, right? 📈💬