Save the Children, a humanitarian organization for children, announced on Dec. 11 the launch of a Bitcoin Fund developed in partnership with digital asset leader Fortris. The fund is designed to transform how financial resources are held, managed and delivered in times of crisis. 🤔💸
Tangem and Aave have apparently decided that bridging self-custody and DeFi is the pinnacle of human achievement. Meanwhile, I’m out here wondering why my bank account isn’t this complicated. 🤢
Coinbase, ever the romantic, has pledged its undying loyalty to Chainlink’s Cross-Chain Interoperability Protocol (CCIP). Why? Because nothing says “trust” like putting all your wrapped assets in one basket-a basket guarded by Chainlink’s oracles, who may or may not be whispering sweet price feeds into DeFi’s ear.
The Digital Watch Observatory, that tireless sentinel of the digital age, declares May’s transactions a tempest of 3,421 bitcoins. A transfer of 2,343 BTC, a spectral journey to a new SegWit address. One might imagine the blockchain itself shuddering at the thought of such movement.
It all began with the spectacular collapse of not one, but two digital currencies made by Terraform Labs – a whopping $40 billion vanishing faster than your paycheck on payday. The crypto world went bananas! 🥴💸
Fresh from the wizards at CryptoQuant and CoinGecko (who clearly have a crystal ball that’s been gathering dust), the meme sector’s nosedive is wilder than Uncle Mel’s crazy schemes. Guess what? No new laughs, no fresh memes, and retail is about as lively as a zombie at a salsa dance. 🧟♂️💃
In a move as inevitable as a society hostess’s third marriage, Swiss asset management darling 21Shares has debuted its XRP ETF, the latest in its arsenal of crypto-linked Exchange Traded Products (ETPs). Approved by the ever-vigilant CBOE, this offering is touted as liquid, transparent, and user-friendly-qualities one might also seek in a cocktail party guest. 🍸🥂
Bitcoin, that digital chameleon, now meanders near $90,000-a limbo of liquidity, post-election hangovers, and the ghost of November’s 17% plunge. That drop, more dramatic than a soap opera finale, sent it tumbling from $109,000 to the $80,000 abyss, leaving traders to wonder: is this a prelude to a grand finale or a snooze-fest in crypto pajamas? 😬
During her Thursday chat at the Brookings Institution (because, where else would you discuss crypto drama?), Crenshaw called out the SEC’s decline over the past year. Apparently, things are starting to look less like a regulatory body and more like, oh I don’t know, a high-stakes poker table? 💸 According to Crenshaw, the markets now resemble “casinos,” with “chaos” reigning supreme after the SEC casually brushed aside years of enforcement cases and cut back on penalties. Nice, right? 🍿
