Turns out, some very dedicated hackers took one look at my Ethereum and Unichain smart contracts, spotted a teensy flaw in the Liquidity Distribution Function (fancy, right?), and went full Netflix villain. They exploited flash loans and rounding errors-because nothing says “I hate decimal places” like stealing millions. It’s like someone walked into a bank, asked for $10, then left with $10 million because the calculator rounded up. 😑
With a flourish that would impress a Broadway producer, the Bunni brigade announced in a Thursday tweet and scrawl that due to a non-existent stash of funds, they’ll be calling it quits. “Relaunching Bunni requires a king’s ransom in audits and eagle-eyed security monitors – figures that, regrettably, do not grace our bank account.” Not.
Bitcoin ETFs said “see ya!” to $101.3 million on October 22, after a $477 million “hello” the day before. Trading volume? Down to $6.58 billion from $7.4 billion. Looks like the dance floor’s clearing. 💃🚪 According to SoSoValue, investors are doing the withdrawal waltz. 🕺💸
WazirX, once India’s largest cryptocurrency exchange by volume, will resume operations on October 24, per an email sent to creditors. 📧💥
Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve, that venerable arbiter of Stone Age wisdom, has apparently misplaced access to crucial private employment data from ADP, which covers a hearty 20% of private workers. Reporting from the esteemed WSJ and Kobeissi Letter suggests that the Fed is feeling quite dovish-possibly more than usual-urging rate cuts while the government’s shutdown drags on, like a bad soap opera.
This scoop is courtesy of Theminermag, your go-to source for the bitcoin mining industry’s latest high-stakes soap opera, packed with all the essential details like institutional bitcoin mining gossip.
– With the flair of understatement from @EricBalchunas, the stalwart seer of securities, October 21, 2025
Oh, the drama! Bitcoin slipped below the $109,500 level like a banana peel on a rainy day. It tested the $106,750 zone and is now sulking in a corner, consolidating its losses. A low of $106,717 was hit before it decided to dust itself off and recover a bit. 🍌
Bitcoin is trading around $108,164, up slightly from Monday but still down 2% on the week, while Ether is changing hands near $3,815. It’s like a horse race where the winner is still deciding if they want to run. 🐴
With a flourish of social media wizardry, Ardoino declared this the “biggest financial inclusion achievement in history,” an achievement as certain as the sun setting behind the smog of the global economy-if only we knew who truly counts as a ‘user’ in this digital carnival. The number’s as solid as a mirage, perhaps a little more shimmering, and the details of how these ‘users’ are counted are as mysterious as the depths of the Mariana Trench, or perhaps just a well-kept secret. 🤔
