Telegram’s Pavel Durov Unveils Decentralized AI Alternative

Cocoon offers a new approach to AI, moving away from the current model of large companies controlling all the data and computing power. Instead, it will utilize the spare processing power from individual computers, rewarding those who contribute with Toncoin (TON). This creates a more open, community-based system for AI development and computation.

HYPE Soars! 🚀 Will It Crash?

Eighty million souls, or thereabouts, are now granted access to Hyperliquid’s coffers, a place brimming with liquidations, programmable trickery, and the shifting of wealth across chains. One shudders to think of the complexities! It doth transform Bitget Wallet into a portal, a gateway if you will, for the $HYPE token – a name, I confess, that lacks a certain… refinement.

Mastercard’s Wild Gamble: Zerohash Deal or Bust!

The competition was fiercer than a dragon guarding its treasure, with payments firms scrambling to snatch a slice of the crypto pie. 🥧 And thanks to clearer rules in the US and Europe, even the most cautious bankers were daring to dream of digital-asset treats. 🎉

CBDCs: Freedom’s Savior or Big Brother’s Plaything? 🤑🕵️‍♂️

On the digital altar of X, Schwartz unveiled his parable: “If a CBDC blooms like a wildflower in the cracks of financial tyranny, it is good. But if it withers under the boot of control, it is a curse.” He spoke of the unbanked, the exiled from the halls of finance, who might find solace in a government-run “bank” forced to defend its edicts in the courts of men. Yet, he did not spare his barbs, for he knows well the thorns that accompany such roses. 🌹⚖️

The Bitcoin Circus: Overnight Surprises, Short Squeezes & the Eternal Dance of Doom & Boom

Enter Luca, the crypto soothsayer, who declared that despite prices trending downward, funding rates have taken a nosedive-essentially telling longs to pack their bags. Yet, curiously, Open Interest has ballooned, implying the bears are having the last laugh and trying to push the market off the cliff first. It’s like trying to herd cats while juggling flaming torches-everyone’s unsure what’s real, and nobody knows who’s really winning. The moral? Don’t trust appearances; sometimes the short sellers are just having a good cry into their keyboards.

Privacy Coins: Monero & Zcash Rule the Crypto Realm 🚀💰

Among the top performers, Monero (XMR) and Zcash (ZEC) continue to dominate the sector like a pair of wizards casting spells in a cryptocurrency wizard school. Their market caps? Over $6.2 billion and $5.6 billion respectively-because nothing says “I’m secret” like a huge number. 🧙‍♂️