In this ever-escalating saga, revelations abound that Milei, that impulsive libertine, hath gravely underestimated the legion of Argentine merchants ensnared in LIBRA’s precipitous fall, a tumble as abrupt as a peasant’s hopes in winter’s grip. 😂
Ethereum (ETH) tried to flex its $4k muscles but collapsed like a gluten-free cookie. Ripple (XRP)? Down. Solana (SOL)? Down. Dogecoin (DOGE)? Oh, it’s down and irrelevant. Cardano (ADA), Chainlink (LINK), Stellar (XLM)-they’re all just vibes at this point. Even Litecoin (LTC) is like, “Hey, remember me?” 🙃
According to Chris Dixon, the General Partner at A16z, “Crypto has become a meaningful part of the modern economy,”-a statement that somehow sounds both ominous and awe-inspiring. With a market cap topping $4 trillion and usage metrics reaching new highs (because who doesn’t love a good graph?), crypto’s transformation is undeniable.
So, Google revealed something astonishing-their Quantum AI team has done the unthinkable by executing a verifiable algorithm on their Willow quantum chip. Hold your horses-this isn’t just any quantum mumbo jumbo. This, my friends, is a verifiable quantum advantage-the first of its kind. What’s that, you ask? Oh, just the tiny detail that blows the fastest classical supercomputers out of the water by 13,000 times. No big deal.
In a move that has left economists scratching their heads and blockchain enthusiasts high-fiving, Russian financial authorities have announced a major policy shift. Apparently, they’ve decided that using crypto to settle foreign trade is the way forward. Finance Minister Anton Siluanov dropped this bombshell on October 21, and let’s just say, it’s as unexpected as finding a towel in a Douglas Adams novel. 🛂🤯
This 13-year-old network, birthed in the sweaty June of 2012, is sashaying towards 100 million ledgers, proving it’s got more staying power than my last disastrous Tinder date. Resilience? Check. Strength? Oh, honey, it’s practically flexing. 💪
Bitcoin takes a leisurely stroll back to $106,000, while gold trips over its own shiny self after a dramatic daily nosedive. 🪙💔
Bitcoin is flirting with a $100,000 nosedive after tripping over its own bear flag. 🐻🚩
KDA, that fickle creature, will remain in circulation-over 566 million tokens still to be distributed as mining rewards until the absurdly distant year of 2139. Time, it seems, is both a thief and a jester. ⏳
The mechanics rest on a summer policy shift. Because of course they do-nothing good ever comes from a simple Tuesday in July. 🌞
