🤑 Crypto Treasuries Ditch Bitcoin for Wacky Altcoins: Chaos Ensues! 🚀

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As of September, there are 200 DAT companies (yes, 200!) mostly mooning over Bitcoin, with a combined market cap of $150 billion. That’s a 3x jump from last year-cha-ching! 💰 But here’s the kicker: new companies are popping up faster than popcorn in a microwave, and many are penny stocks desperate to turn a dime into a fortune. With Bitcoin’s value doing the limbo (how low can you go?), these firms are now eyeing altcoins like they’re the last slice of pizza at a party. 🍕

XRP ETF Approved: SEC’s Surprise Move!

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The filing, signed by the enigmatic Steven McClurg of Canary Capital Group, was submitted on November 10, 2025. The SEC, in a rare moment of kindness, didn’t ask any questions, which is probably why they’ve been so quiet lately. The ETF will trade under the ticker “XRPC,” which sounds like a code for a secret society. 🕵️‍♂️

XRP to $10? 🚀 Analyst Predicts Crypto Dreams and Drama! 😱

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Ali Martinez, a sage of the digital markets, has recently proclaimed on the platform once known as Twitter that XRP has been tracing the contours of a Bull Flag on its monthly chart. This pattern, akin to the fluttering pennant of a victorious army, is a technical marvel in the labyrinthine world of crypto analysis.

eToro’s Crypto Surge: Profits Soar, Costs Match… Wait, What?

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However, high hedging costs in crypto derivatives are like a mosquito at a picnic-annoying and hard to swat. They nearly erased departmental profits, but the overall net income still managed to jump 48% YoY to $57 million. That’s like finding a $5 bill in your old jacket pocket-unexpected, but welcome. 💸🧠