So here’s the deal: Bitcoin’s short-term future is going to hinge on the U.S. jobs report on Friday. If the jobs data looks like a sad clown at a party (read: slowdown), Bitcoin might just do that thing where it skyrockets. Oh, and let’s not forget those ETF inflows, like the little cherry on top of an already confusing financial sundae.
Yet, as with all things in life, this upward ascent is fragile. The seasoned long-term holders—those who have watched wealth ebb and flow like the tide—are seizing this moment as a golden opportunity to sell, perhaps with a smirk, profiting as the market teeters ever so precariously.
Well, well, well, Bitcoin (BTC) has had a minor tumble, dropping by a mere 0.43% in the last 24 hours. We’re sure it will bounce back, just like that friend who promises not to cry over the smallest things. 🙄
USD1 has arrived — and, in the spirit of undisguised excitement, we offer a promotional gimmick-a-palooza:
• 15% APR, because everyone loves a good percentage
• 30 days, the blink of an eye in economic terms
• $1 million cap—so don’t get too greedy, or the universe will punish you
They say Trump-inspired T-shirts are coming—probably the only thing more volatile than the coin itself. Mark your calendars: Vault opens June 9, at 1 PM UTC. Stay alert, or miss out on your slice of the pie.
According to the wild scroll of paper called the S-1, this shiny new ETF will actually hold real Bitcoin — not just pretend Bitcoin, as some clever folks might hope. Crypto.com, that mysterious digital vault, will guard the Bitcoin like a dragon guarding its treasure (or so we hope). The ETF is sponsored by Yorkville America Digital, because what could possibly go wrong? Shares are expected to dance onto the NYSE Arca stage once everyone from the SEC finishes their afternoon nap and gives the thumbs up.
On the hourly chart, SOL seems to be auditioning for the role of bearish superstar. Should it break its local support, brace yourself—$145 might become the next stop on its sad, lonely journey. Oh, what joy!
Но внутри его торчит укол: он вклёвывает в комментарий, что, мол, золотые тресты торгуют криптой, и это — признак вершины биткоина, дескать! Как только услышишь: «Компания, держущая золото, приискивает крипту», — сразу аж в глазах темнеет. Он, смех да и только, заявляет: “Это — знак, что, мол, пора подавать на прощание”. И всё это он говорит, будто сам у дороги — биткоин болтается около сотни с лишним тысяч, а остальной свет — всё кипит, а он молчит.
“We follow a venerable business schema,” quoth Zac Townsend, the chief of this merry troupe, “but we inscribe all in Bitcoin.” He recalls, with a twinkle in his eye, that the very first life insurance society was born in London in 1706—a true grandpère of modern commerce—though ours is a tweed-jacket modern, sans wig. ☺️
Now, here’s the twist: Is this just Ripple moving pieces around like a chess master? Or is it the big liquidity release everyone’s been waiting for? Either way, it’s causing quite the stir as the market tries to decipher whether this is a smart play or a catastrophe in the making. 😏
It all began, as U.Today recounts with a tone of mild astonishment, on May 29—an auspicious day for digital promises. That day, the exchange rolled out RLUSD against the venerable USDT and USDC, perhaps thinking: “Why not bring some stability to this carnival?” And so, the pairs were born, ready to be traded like hotcakes at a midnight market, although some wonder if stability is just another illusion in this kaleidoscope of chaos.