Currency Forecast

A June 6 post on X (because who still calls it Twitter?) from the Pakistan Crypto Council shows that Saqib had tea with Brandon Lutnick, the big boss of Cantor Fitzgerald—no, not a new superhero, just a very old and very rich financial firm. The meeting was reportedly about “tokenization, Bitcoin mining, Pakistan’s Web3 future, and ways to definitely not mess it up.” Apparently, the future of crypto in Pakistan is about as predictable as a cat on a skateboard. 🐱🛹

World Liberty Financial, a company with the Trumps’ signatures all over it (well, sort of), decided to send their bossy note to Fight Fight Fight — the mischievous bunch behind the cheeky $TRUMP memecoin. Their ‘pet project’ was to launch the ‘$TRUMP Wallet’ — a nifty gadget to hold and trade digital doodads. But alas! No sooner had they started, than the Trump family shouted, “Not so fast!” and sent the party crashing. Meanwhile, NFT market Magic Eden also got caught in the crossfire with a big red ‘Nope!’ 🎯

Shiga Digital is rolling out a bunch of helpful stuff—virtual accounts, foreign exchange, OTC trading, treasury management—you know, the usual digital wizardry. With Tether’s backing, they’re promising smoother cross-border payments, less currency chaos, and even helping out oil and gas companies stay afloat in this blockchain bonanza. Because nothing says “modern” like using virtual money to power legacy industries, right? 🛢️📈

With charts that seem more like a drunken sailor’s doodle, FARTCOIN looks ready to stumble into more chaos and confusion.

After a spell of looking about as lively as a cat in a rainstorm, Bitcoin is hangin’ around that $102,500 mark—right where history and Fibonacci folks say it should. Ain’t that cozy?

Solano, the self-proclaimed voice of reason, describes the DAO as a “bold experiment,” which is British for “we tried, we failed, now let’s pretend it was all part of the plan.” Once a vessel carrying the hopes of early momentum, it has now sunk into sluggishness, noise, and a parade of unserious governance theatrics. Ah yes, the noble art of throwing good money after vanity projects—because what’s a crypto bubble without a little spectacle? “That stops now,” he claims, as if he’s about to slay the dragon of squandered funds. 🐉

The esteemed Core Team has, however, kindly provided some prudent advice—though, in truth, the onus of safety rests largely upon the shoulders of each individual. Take heed, for the internet is a treacherous place, fraught with sites that may look innocent but conceal malevolent intent. Treasure your holdings as one would their most valued jewels, and remember, sharing your passphrase with anyone—even if they claim to be a fellow pioneer—can and will result in the total disappearance of your precious Pi. Imagine the horror: your balance vanishing faster than a gentleman’s coat at a ball! 🚨

In a freshly minted report from the esteemed CME Group and Glassnode (who? just the brilliant minds behind tracking Bitcoin’s every move), we’re introduced to the concept of “Transfer Volume.” No, it’s not a secret Bitcoin party, but rather the total amount of cryptocurrency moving around the blockchain. Exciting, right? Hold on to your hat, because it gets better.

История недели

Chainalysis, an outfit of clever detectives, has confirmed that a suspicious 300 Bitcoin—enough to buy a small estate—made its way to poor Ulbricht. But from whence? From AlphaBay, say the wise analysts, who, like Gogol’s best humorists, revel in revealing human folly. They whisper that the funds likely originated from a vendor—maybe a vendor of dreams, or perhaps just drugs. The amount whispers secrets of the dark web’s aristocracy—big vendors with their pockets full, they say. 😂