In an exclusive tête-à-tête with crypto enthusiast and influencer Anthony Pompliano, Ellis mentioned, rather casually, that Bitcoin (BTC) and its crypto cousins could be just the thing to keep tabs on the “bad actors” of the world. The cheek of it! 💰
This synchronized swimming routine performed by wallets fat with capital has all the hallmarks of a bullish ballet—if one believes in omens, portents, or is prone to reading entrails after a particularly spicy DeFi lunch. 📈
According to some newsy types at Deadline, McKenzie has put pen to paper, called the shots, and even footed the bill for a documentary with a title that doesn’t leave much room for ambiguity: Everyone Is Lying To You For Money. Jolly subtle, that one. It’s set to debut at SXSW London in June—if you can endure the chill and the queue for flat whites, you might catch a glimpse.
Gordon Grant and Joshua Lim, those stewards of vast and invisible sums, shared with the assembled crowd at BeInCrypto that Bitcoin’s meanderings above $100,000 now signal not a gambler’s fever, but a landowner’s sleepiness—a long-held, slow-baked confidence quite unlike the manic card games played following certain ~electoral pyrotechnics~ (ah, when democracy gives birth to new millionaires overnight!).
The brainwave—clearly concocted over 2 a.m. pizza and too much Red Bull—lands on May 2, 2025, 5:50 p.m. ET (weirdly specific; you know they agonised over that time slot between Broadway showings and the Naked Cowboy’s shift).
Is this not the very masque of privacy? The mighty and mysterious algorithms now escort you across the threshold of cryptographic elegance, so you may sip your digital wine and frolic on Bumble without scandal or unsolicited birthday greetings.
April arrived and, with all the subtlety of a Tolstoyan plot twist, turned the world upside down. A great drain began, not unlike the melancholy flow of vodka after Lent. Day after day, a steady procession of funds exited the exchanges. One could almost hear the clinking of departing coins like the tumbling hoofbeats on a frosty country road.
Since those halcyon days, the SEC, now boasting a more convivial attitude à la the Trumpian school of thought, has put on its friendliest trousers and extended a hand to the crypto set. By installing crypto devotees in influential seats and shelving enough lawsuits to make any attorney weep into their gin, the SEC has signaled that change might, indeed, be afoot. DOGE, meanwhile, looms in the background, practically humming a show tune of regulatory reform. Audiences everywhere lean in, hoping at last for less opera, more clarity.
The coin, awkward child of optimism and disappointment, sits at $0.70—almost 40% higher than the soul-crushing low in April. It is a silent protest of digits, a stubbornness that is as much survival as triumph. “Support level,” they say, as if numbers offer comfort the way a warm stove chases off chill.
Michael Saylor, notorious for his subtlety (sarcasm detector: critical), dashed onto X to update the world. How’s he going to find that kind of money? Naturally: stocks, stocks again, and a bit of debt for good measure.
