Currency Forecast

Bitcoin, the cosmic jester of finance, has been practically hibernating around $93,000 for 24 hours—nodding up and down as if trying to decide whether to buy a latte or just meditate on its existence. Meanwhile, gold, the grandpa of shiny things, surged last week and is now hanging out above $3,300, humming confidently about $4,000 next year, as if it’s betting investors will abandon those boring old Treasuries and the U.S. dollar faster than you can say “Where’s my gold?”

Amid this carnival, three merry jesters have somehow outdanced the chaos: Alchemist AI (ALCH), FARTCOIN (yes, you read that right), and AI Rig Complex (ARC), each brandishing technicolor stories, chart acrobatics, and crowds of intrigued onlookers.

Brad Garlinghouse, Ripple’s proud ringmaster, can barely contain his glee: “At long last, a step forward for XRP’s so-called glory parade!”

Maximilian’s charm lies not merely in his ledger skills but in the labyrinthine acquaintance with financial gatekeepers and regulators, a dance most perform with grimaces rather than grace. Despite this promotion, one suspects a soft tether as he remains perched on MoonPay’s board, like a well-fed cat unwilling to abandon the kitchen.

Canada’s story with digital assets ain’t just bedtime tales told by fireside yarn-spinners. It’s stitched into the fabric of the nation by firsts and leapfrogs:

So, CandyDrop—a stage where your toil is measured by clicks and clicks alone. Trade enough, deposit this or that, summon others into the hive, and *poof*—collect candy points as if you’re in some sugar-coated factory of dreams. Exchange these points for tokens, because nothing says “quality” like ticking boxes for digital candy.

The Zksync Association spilled the tea: the hacker who jiggled their way into an admin account and grabbed $5 million in ZK tokens decided to play nice and hand it all back within the so-called “safe harbor deadline.” Because apparently, even hackers appreciate a deadline.

Launched late Wednesday, the token saw a glorious spike in price, only to tumble more than 50% right after. Oh, and it was just another sad chapter in the story of venture-backed tokens — you know, the ones that make you go, “Is this really happening?”

In a rather eloquent thread (for those who enjoy scrolling through the endless noise of the internet), Michaël van de Poppe, the crypto trader with an impressive following of 784,400 on X (formerly Twitter), declares with the sort of certainty only a crypto trader can muster: Bitcoin will likely hang out for a while in the $90,000 range before it accelerates further.

Bitcoin (BTC) is apparently the digital equivalent of your “safe space” blanket—even if some argue that’s just shaky logic akin to claiming your toaster is a dependable friend. While altcoins are performing their usual disappearing act, bitcoin’s dominance struts confidently on the blockchain catwalk.