âDogecoin is also based on energy,â chirped the ever-vigilant Sir Doge of the Coin, to which Musk replied with a punctuation mark so pregnant with meaning, one could almost hear the collective gasp of the crypto sphere. Yet, the market, that fickle prima donna, remained unmoved. Dogecoin, languishing at $0.196, seemed to shrug off the maestroâs touch, as if to say, âBeen there, barked that.â
Proof Theyâve Got the Crypto Stuff
The mNAV-(market cap + liabilities) divided by Bitcoin assets-plunged under 1.0, implying the market values this company less than its digital gold hoard. A concept so ludicrous, even Oblomov would wake from his slumber to scoff at it. đ€Šââïž
And lo, the market crashed with the force of a thousand elephants, wiping out nearly half a trillion dollars in a single day, with over $19 billion in leveraged positions liquidated. A veritable financial tempest! â ïžđ
According to the ever-watchful Politico, Downing presented a draft bill to the House Financial Services Committee, attempting to gift Executive Order 14330 the permanence of law. Imagine: a world where your retirement dreams might just ride a digital rollercoaster.
They targeted these shady Southeast Asian scam factories, specifically the notorious Cambodiaâs Prince Group TCO and the Huione Group-because nothing screams âtrustworthyâ like a criminal org with a fancy acronym. Meanwhile, Huione was busy laundering over $4 billion-yes, billion-with crypto and fiat, including money stolen in North Korean hacking shenanigans and Southeast Asian âpig butcheringâ scams (think less gourmet, more grift). đđž
The Korea Securities Depository, that somber archivist of fiscal folly, reveals a pattern as predictable as a Nabokov protagonistâs downfall: South Koreans shun the mundane. Why rest during their Thanksgiving equivalent when one can frolic in the volatile meadows of global markets? Safety, it seems, is for the aesthetically bankrupt. đ§âđ€đž
Il paraĂźt que Monsieur Chen Zhi, ce noble fondateur et prĂ©sident du Prince Holding Group, nâest pas quâun simple homme dâaffaires – non, câest le cerveau derriĂšre une opĂ©ration Ă la fois diabolique et spectaculaire! Une entreprise transnationale, avec des camps de travail forcĂ© en Cambodge, oĂč lâon contraignait des innocents Ă jouer la comĂ©die de la fraude – et pas la petite comĂ©die, mais celle oĂč tout le thĂ©Ăątre tourne autour de “piger la viande” en crypto, pendant que lâon vole les victimes, souvent amĂ©ricains, souvent naĂŻfs, mais toujours dupĂ©s.
Circle, in a fit of preemptive panic, locked four EVM wallets.
Whispers âround the blockchain saloon suggest these funds sprang from a Coinbase caper, where a rogue picked pockets with the finesse of a pickpocket at a parade.
– Bitrace (@Bitrace_team) October 14, 2025
