Currency Forecast

Coinbase, that paragon of innovation, has unveiled a most convenient method for businesses to conduct transactions across the globe, with the swiftness of a well-timed dance at a ball. 💸

Exchange Reserves are shrinking faster than my patience on Zoom calls, and “Weighted Sentiment” is slightly less gloomy. Coincidence? Probably. 🎩✨

In a move that screams ‘We Own Everything,’ Tether, holding a juicy 10.7% stake (think of it as holding the godfather’s hat at a mafia wedding), announced their nominees: Zachary Lyons, a deputy CIO with a mind sharper than a dental probe, and Francesco Garino, who’s been rooting for Juventus since forever-probably with a crooked smile that mirrors his craft. Apparently, the stablecoin collateral of choice now is not just cash, but also clever political positioning and a sprinkle of corporate charm. 💼🦷

Let’s take a minute to digest this: 300 trillion PYUSD would have dwarfed the entire US money supply (M2) by nearly 14 times. That’s right, 14 times! And in global terms, it’s almost three times the total estimated global M2-roughly $100 trillion. So, for a hot second, Paxos was sitting on enough digital cash to buy, I don’t know, the entire stock market? A casual Thursday mistake, clearly.

The MACD, a lovely little momentum gauge, has officially crossed into negative territory. If you’ve been living under a rock (or maybe just not checking crypto charts), the last two times this happened, mid-2024 and early 2025, Ethereum was sent plummeting into the abyss-losing half its value in mere weeks. But hey, what’s a 50% loss between friends? 😬

So, who’s getting the axe? The usual suspects: SLERF, ALPHA, BADGER-sounds like a woodland adventure-and others with less friendly names like Oasys (OAS), Enzyme (MLN), and, of course, everyone’s favorite millennial meme coin: ArbDoge (AIDOGE). Because, you know, if it’s not trending, it’s not worth keeping on the shelf.

And so the familiar saga unfolds-cryptos are slipping down the hill as gold and silver keep climbing to uncharted territory. How quaint. Bitcoin has dropped by around 2% in the past hour, now sitting at a measly $108,800, having lost most of its post-crash bounce from Friday. Meanwhile, the rest of crypto is on a similar path to despair, with Ethereum and Solana suffering even worse declines-around 3% in just the last 60 minutes. Oh, the humanity.

This Minneapolis mob, bragging they’re the world’s biggest corporate Ether hoarders of ETH, flogged 4.5 million shares at $17 a pop, blowing past its October 15 close of $15.15. Yippee-ki-yay, shareholders! 🐎

Summary

Its staking-enabled ETPs allow investors to earn blockchain rewards without the bother of running validator nodes or managing complex technical and custody risks-truly a marvel of modern convenience. 🧠