Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Sky Protocol token—picking itself up off the floor like a drunk sailor at sunrise. This past few months, it’s been bouncing back as if it’s on a trampoline, just like those other big, bad decentralized finance coins. You know the type. Aave (AAVE)? Check. Jito (JTO)? Double-check. Sky? Oh, it’s *jumping* too.
On a particularly indolent June afternoon—June the 16th, 2025, to be precise—Truth Social, ever vigilant in its quest for relevance, staggered into the limelight clutching an S-1 form (the most tedious of all bureaucratic grimoires) addressed to the less-than-impressed U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. 💼 Their latest wheeze? A Bitcoin and Ethereum ETF, euphemistically christened … Read more
Just weeks after Circle, the stablecoin issuer, decided to strut its stuff on the public stage, everyone’s wondering which crypto circus act will be next. Spoiler alert: it’s Tron! 🎪
Now, the sage among us (namely, Wintermute’s own Evgeny Gaevoy, not to be confused with a brand of high-end Russian perfume) rather wittily pointed out that the Jeff Yan and CZ kerfuffle on X was less “heated financial debate” and more “splashy sales pitch.” Seems he was bang on the money, for HYPE’s price has performed the sort of leap that would’ve led Aunt Agatha to demand a medical examination.
According to CoinMarketCap (the oracle of crypto), ADA had a bit of a rough patch last week. It tried to break through the $0.68 resistance level but, spoiler alert, it didn’t quite make it. It even dipped down to a low of $0.61 on June 5. Ouch! 😬
Strategy has acquired 10,100 BTC for ~$1.05 billion at ~$104,080 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 19.1% YTD 2025. As of 6/15/2025, we hodl 592,100 $BTC acquired for ~$41.84 billion at ~$70,666 per bitcoin. $MSTR $STRK $STRF $STRD
MicroStrategy’s the top dog. No question. They’re sitting on 582,000 BTC. That’s 2.771% of all the Bitcoin out there. I have socks older than some of these companies, and this one’s already got a dragon’s hoard. Meanwhile, the next guy, Marathon Digital? Only 49,179 BTC. That’s a rounding error to MicroStrategy. It’s like showing up to a knife fight with a really angry hamster.
On the fateful day of June 15, Ethereum whales indulged in a feast, acquiring a staggering 818,000 ETH (worth $2.5 billion). One might think they were stocking up for an impending drought! 💰
This endeavor intends to involve approximately 300,000 individuals, such as adolescent girls, parents, guides, and educators, from eight different nations: Armenia, Brazil, Cambodia, India, Kazakhstan, Malaysia, Morocco, and South Africa.
From the autumn haze, Bitcoin stands first, collecting more than $1.3 billion as though it were overdue rent. Ethereum follows, sturdy and silent, carrying $583.3 million upon its shoulders—although one can’t shake the feeling it’s silently judging everyone. Third in this mad parade is XRP, hoisting $11.8 million and possibly wondering if everyone forgot its invitation until the last minute.
