The EU bigwigs have decided: If you’d like your crypto to frolic among the public or play with the big boys on the trading floor, you must submit a jolly good white paper! This paper must explain the crypto—warts, wonders, risks, and all—in plain words, absolutely free of gobbledygook, so even your pet hamster would understand (provided he stopped running in circles for a moment).
In a recent report, the ever-astute Robert Miller, Product Lead at Flashbots, has raised the alarm. He warns that the on-chain bot activities are not merely a nuisance; they are voraciously consuming resources, threatening the very efficiency of high-throughput blockchain networks like Solana and Ethereum Layer-2 (L2) networks. One might say these bots are akin to a swarm of locusts, feasting on the bounty of innovation.
Despite NEAR Protocol boasting a staggering 46 million monthly users, it seems our dear token is struggling to keep its head above water in this turbulent geopolitical sea. 🌊
Both parties—Ripple and the SEC—have asked the Second Circuit Court to continue hitting the “pause” button on the ongoing appeal. They’ve politely requested an update from the SEC by August 15, 2025. Why not kick the can further down the road, right? 🛑
Paul Grewal, Coinbase’s Chief Legal Officer, seemed more enthusiastic than your uncle at a family BBQ over this monumental “watershed moment.” In a tweet, full of enthusiasm bordering on existential relief, Grewal mused, “Today we are going to see the United States Senate pass major crypto legislation with bipartisan support. A year ago I would’ve thought this at best was a fever dream. Think for a moment on how far we’ve come.” Ah, yes. From fever dream to reality, where dreams are taxed and regulated. 🍷
Now, the SEC, in a classic move, has decided to file a status update with the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit. They’re asking for a 60-day extension on holding the appeal in abeyance. Because who doesn’t love a good delay, right? 🙄 But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean we’re waiting until August for the judge to make up her mind about the joint motion. Nope, that’s still on the table, and it could be served hot any day now!
On this fine Tuesday, the alliance has graciously welcomed the Solana Foundation, Bitget Wallet, Jupiter Exchange, Trust Wallet, Rainbow, BitGo, Fireblocks, 1inch, and Alpaca into its fold. One cannot help but wonder if more companies shall soon be swept into this delightful alliance, like moths to a flame! 🔥
“We’re absolutely thrilled to partner with @Ripple to sprinkle some fiat magic on RLUSD, the stablecoin that’s as compliant as a well-trained puppy. Now, thanks to #AlchemyPay, you can buy it in over 173 countries! Just think of all the local payment methods you can use—it’s like a buffet of currencies!”
— Alchemy Pay|$ACH: Fiat-Crypto Payment Gateway (@AlchemyPay) June 17, 2025
Michael van de Poppe, the crypto wizard with a knack for predicting doom and gloom, has weighed in. He thinks Bitcoin might drop below $105,000, potentially triggering a cascade of liquidations. Ah, yes, the sweet, sweet drama of pre-FOMC market swings. The kind of volatility that makes traders feel like they’re on a rollercoaster built by someone with a bad sense of humor.
