Currency Forecast

And that wasn’t all. XRP and Dogecoin also felt the sting as massive sell-offs wiped out leveraged bets faster than you can say “bear market.”

Now, there’s this fellow. A *whale*, they call him. Sounds terribly important, doesn’t it? This whale – a proper clever clogs, he thought he was – made a fortune betting that Bitcoin and Ethereum would go down. He was right! But then, oh dear, he had a rather brilliant idea… to suddenly bet they’d go *up*! Honestly, the cheek of it! 🙄

This whole plan got louder this week when Governor Johnson Asiama – a very important man, very important! – started yapping about sending a bill to parliament and building a whole *unit* inside the bank just to watch the digital assets. A whole unit! As if they don’t have enough paperwork already! 🙄

In a missive on the fateful Friday, October 17, Burniske scribbled that this cycle “hath been a disappointment most foul,” a sentiment that “paralyzeth action as souls pine for bluer skies, or the glory of former ATHs.” 🌩️ He urged investors to think in linear monthly terms, eschewing the “chart minutiae” that doth drive men to madness. “MSTR slippeth, gold sendeth a dire warning, as do the credit markets, and stocks shall be the last to grasp the message…” he added, with a dramatic flourish. “I yearn to witness how $BTC respondeth to $100K, but perchance I shall return to the fray when $BTC doth plummet to $75K or lower.” The post, a spectacle of woe, garnered 50.2K views, a testament to its tragic allure.

According to Bloomberg (which, let’s be honest, probably needed a story after running out of things to say about airline food), they’ll be buying up “medium-sized” crypto firms. Apparently, the small ones are too chaotic, and the big ones are…well, probably already bought up by someone else with too much money. Akshat Vaidya, Maelstrom’s co-founder, says they’ll be throwing around $40-$75 million a year on companies that do “essential services.” Like what, making sure all the servers are plugged in? 🤔

The state of Florida is going to extremes with a new legislative proposal. House Bill 183 (HB 183) is aimed at permitting the Chief Financial Officer (CFO) and the pension board in the state to invest in bitcoin and exchange-traded funds (ETFs) up to 10 percent of identified funds in the state. 🐢⚡

On Friday, October 17, the ever-watchful Whale Alert posted a spectacle of chaos: over 106 million XRP transferred from unknown wallets straight to Coinbase – that reputable haven of stability. Or so it seems. The two giant transactions-roughly 53 million XRP each-are worth more than most people’s annual income (or so we wish), totaling a staggering $242 million. Talk about a fire sale! And if you’re wondering, yes, some think this is whales deciding to hedge their bets or just binging on the market’s misery. 🐋💥

But lo and behold, amidst the chaos, some clever analysts-probably sipping tea and stroking their longbeards-are pointing to ancient market patterns, cycles that repeat like bad soap operas. If history is any guide (and it often is, in the wild crypto jungle), a meteoric rise might be lurking just around the corner, penciled in at a majestic $7. Because what’s better than a billionaire’s fantasy, right? 🚀

Oh, and they’re buying a Nasdaq-listed company to make it all official. Because nothing says “we’re serious” like acquiring a company. They’ve already got $1B in commitments, including $200M from Li’s Avenir Capital and $500M from regional big shots like HongShan Capital. Talks are still happening, but expect a fancy announcement soon. 🗣️

It appears the market’s support is about as reliable as a broken umbrella in a rainstorm. Still, someone out there is apparently convinced things might turn around-perhaps the same folks who believe in magic or just love gambling with their coffee money. 🎲