🔥 Crypto Chaos: Bunni DEX Bows Out to Hackers! 😱

With a flourish that would impress a Broadway producer, the Bunni brigade announced in a Thursday tweet and scrawl that due to a non-existent stash of funds, they’ll be calling it quits. “Relaunching Bunni requires a king’s ransom in audits and eagle-eyed security monitors – figures that, regrettably, do not grace our bank account.” Not.

Wall Street’s Wild Guess: Rate Cuts, Crypto Soars, and the Government’s Grand Show

Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve, that venerable arbiter of Stone Age wisdom, has apparently misplaced access to crucial private employment data from ADP, which covers a hearty 20% of private workers. Reporting from the esteemed WSJ and Kobeissi Letter suggests that the Fed is feeling quite dovish-possibly more than usual-urging rate cuts while the government’s shutdown drags on, like a bad soap opera.

USDT Hits 500 Million Users: The Greatest Financial Feat Never Confirmed ?

Market Size and Supply Graph

With a flourish of social media wizardry, Ardoino declared this the “biggest financial inclusion achievement in history,” an achievement as certain as the sun setting behind the smog of the global economy-if only we knew who truly counts as a ‘user’ in this digital carnival. The number’s as solid as a mirage, perhaps a little more shimmering, and the details of how these ‘users’ are counted are as mysterious as the depths of the Mariana Trench, or perhaps just a well-kept secret. 🤔

Crypto Gold Rush: 155 ETFs Stampede 🏇💰

There’s a fever in the air, a kind of madness that only comes with the scent of profit. The digital asset sector is awash with optimism, as crypto exchange-traded product (ETP) filings surge to heights once thought impossible. Bloomberg’s own Eric Balchunas, a man who’s seen his fair share of market frenzies, declared on October 21 that a record 155 ETP filings have been made since 2024, spanning 35 different cryptocurrencies. It’s a land rush, he says, and he’s not wrong. 🏇🔥