Enter one Michaël van de Poppe, a fellow who fancies himself a prophet of the crypto realm. This whimsical fund manager has likened our current plight in the realm of Bitcoin to the grand calamity known as the COVID crash of 2020, a time when we all learned that toilet paper was indeed more precious than gold!
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick casually mentioned on Sunday that the White House’s decision to exempt items like smartphones and computers from those hefty tariffs was just a temporary fling. Who knew tariffs could be so dramatic? 🎭
Picture, if you will, the absurd comedy of our existence: here we are, mere pawns in the game of economic chess between great powers! 🃏 The Americans, in their infinite wisdom (or perhaps madness?), pause their tariffs like a drunkard momentarily stopping his vodka consumption, only to resume with greater vigor later.
Ah, Jasmy Coin (JASMY), the darling of the East, often dubbed Japan’s Bitcoin, has made a comeback worthy of a Hollywood script. After languishing at a pitiful $0.0082 earlier this month, it has now soared to a high of $0.017, a staggering 103% increase! Who knew a coin could have such a flair for the dramatic? 🎭
After inspecting several of these devious texts, BeInCrypto is fairly certain we’ve got a specific group of hackers targeting Binance users with an organized, if not exactly innovative, phishing campaign.
In a recent discourse with the venerable CNBC Television, Mr. Lee expounded upon the notion that a cooling of tariff negotiations would, in all likelihood, diminish the specter of recession that has loomed over our economy like a particularly gloomy cloud. ☁️
Meanwhile, the smaller holders, bless their hearts, have barely managed to increase their holdings. Wallets containing between 1 trillion and 10 trillion SHIB have recently plummeted by more than 2%. Early investors, who once believed they were on a one-way rocket to the moon, are now staring at their screens in disbelief, wondering if they accidentally boarded a flight to the nearest black hole instead. 🚀💔
At the time of writing, while Arthur Dent was probably still looking for a decent cup of tea, Ethereum was hovering at $1610, which is exactly the sort of number you might expect if you multiplied six by nine.
As I sit here in my dimly lit room, contemplating the absurdity of existence, XRP mocks us all at $2.19 – a seven-day peak that makes one question whether we’re all merely pawns in this cosmic joke! 🎭
He’s also reassured us that all customer assets are as safe as a cat in a sunbeam. “Multiple agencies have looked very closely at this,” he quipped, probably while sipping a latte. ☕️