Alas, Ethena Labs will no longer be pursuing regulatory approval under the EU’s Markets in Crypto-Assets Regulation. A decision, no doubt, made with the sort of reluctance one reserves for attending a Wagner opera. The reason? A March enforcement action by Germany’s financial regulator, BaFin, which ordered the company to cease all public sales of USDe (USDe) due to MiCAR noncompliance. How dreadfully inconvenient! 😒
Brandt, a man who’s been navigating financial markets since bell-bottoms were cool, isn’t impressed. In fact, he’s about as moved as a cat watching a laser pointer. While the crypto crowd was busy high-fiving over the trendline break, Brandt was busy rolling his eyes. “Trendlines? Pfft. Amateur hour,” he might as well have said. And he did, in his own way, with a tweet that dripped with the kind of sarcasm only a seasoned trader can muster.
Binance’s announcement about LDUSDT’s grand debut on their futures platform arrived with all the subtlety of Woland dropping into 1930s Moscow. What’s the trick, you ask? Swap your dreary Tether (USDT) on Binance’s Simple Earn for this shining LDUSDT, which you can then deploy as margin in the wild bazaar of futures—earning a reward for your trouble, and perhaps your soul.
This investment, as Tether so eloquently put it, will help Fizen develop solutions that allow stablecoin transactions for both consumers and businesses. Because, you know, the world was just waiting for another way to spend digital money. 🙄
Scheduled for the days when the sun reigns supreme, from April 30 to May 1, 2025, the Madinat Jumeirah resort will transform into a sanctuary for the crypto faithful. Here, on the hallowed OKX main stage, Eric will engage in a fireside chat—a term that evokes warmth, yet here, it may just be the heat of the market that ignites the conversation.
The tokens were sent in two transactions: 2,500 ETH ($4.05 million) and 10,000 ETH ($16.32 million). Because why do one big transfer when you can split it up and keep everyone guessing? 🤷♂️
Yes, you heard that right. Three hundred and fourteen thousand dollars. For one Pi. Because, you know, math. 3.14159. Get it? Hilarious. 🥧
Our resident on-chain binocular-wielder, Ali, chimed in with this little nugget, which frankly sounds like the plot of an Ocean’s Eleven spin-off, but with more memes and zero George Clooney:
As an analyst, I’m observing that data from both CryptoMoon Markets Pro and TradingView indicates a potential increase in Bitcoin prices, as suggested by the Relative Strength Index (RSI).
Rector’s analysis is based on some very “conservative” assumptions, which is just a fancy way of saying, “I’m not ready to bet my life savings on this.” He’s banking on XRP ETFs pulling in between $4 billion and $8 billion in their first year. But let’s be real, even if they only manage to snag $4 billion, that could still lead to a market cap explosion that would make fireworks look like a sparkler. 🎆
