Let’s recap: October 2025 has been a rollercoaster for crypto. Highs so high you forget your own name, lows so brutal you consider selling your kidney on eBay. But now, Bitcoin’s back to $116K like a bad rom-com sequel that’s somehow better than the first. 🎬
The U.S. Federal Reserve, that grand puppeteer of the financial world, is poised to tinker with interest rates on Wednesday. A 25 bps cut, they say? How quaint! Meanwhile, the CPI numbers have whispered sweet nothings about inflation, leaving experts in a state of bewildered hope. And let us not forget the Fed Chair Powell, whose press conference will undoubtedly be a masterpiece of carefully crafted ambiguity. 🧐
According to the oracle of Coingecko, the protocol’s tokens now stand proudly with a market cap of more than $810 million, having surged a breathtaking 366% in a single day’s berth. Fuel igniting this rally included AInalyst, which ascended by 179%, and Capminal’s valiant increase of 140.6%.
Ah, but what’s the fuss? It’s merely a license, you say, but a license that grants the tiny titan the power to scale up its bitcoin services-yes, the very same digital gold-keeping users’ self-custody like a mother holding her child. Now, they can boast about improved payment features-think 24/7 instant SEPA, because who needs sleep?-and higher euro trading limits, making the world of crypto just a tad more chaotic and exciting. They talk about having over ninety thousand users and a billion dollars in total volume, which, I suppose, would make even the most hardened banker raise an eyebrow. Julian Liniger, their co-founder and CEO, sounds proud-proud enough to call themselves “one of the first bitcoin companies to get the MiCA license,” as if it’s some noble achievement, and not just another step in the endless dance of regulation. He advises users to update their auto-invest orders to the shiny new SEPA IBAN, perhaps thinking we’re all just characters in a grand chess game.
News of the June filing has already stirred up crypto chatter like a bunch of caffeinated parrots just before the big show where Eric Jing will speak alongside Hong Kong’s Financial Secretary, Mr. Hui, and the ever-pabulous Fred Hu at the so-called “crypto-friendly” Hong Kong FinTech Week-normally a stodgy old affair, now turned party central for blockchain buffs. 🥳
Barry Ritholtz, the wise owl of finance, wonders aloud-what cosmic problem does this shiny new crypto solve? Will it hold any intrinsic value, or is it merely digital vapor, a phantom lurking in the circuits? He reminds us that crypto and iPhones debuted roughly the same epoch-one now indispensable, the other… well, a fancy paperweight. Why, he asks, has one become essential and the other a mere gadget?
Perpetual DEXs have surpassed $1 trillion in trading volume last month, thanks to the emergence of new contenders like YZi Labs’ Aster, which debuted on the BNB Chain platform earlier this year. And now, on this fine Wednesday, Astros, another Sui-based perp DEX, quietly launched after months of beta testing. Mon Dieu!
Ethereum (ETH), the eternal bridesmaid, trails behind, clutching her pearls and hoping for a comeback. Altcoins, those fickle sirens, sing their songs of mixed momentum. Binance Coin (BNB), Solana (SOL), and XRP dance the tango of uncertainty, while Cardano (ADA), Dogecoin (DOGE), and Toncoin (TON) perform a choppy waltz. Polygon (MATIC) and Avalanche (AVAX) stand by, waiting for their cue-or perhaps just a drink. 🍸
During their latest earnings call (which is to say, more boardroom scuttlebutt), CEO Devin McGranahan, who probably refers to himself as the “gatekeeper of fortune,” explained how this pilot project is going to revolutionize the entire remittance business. Apparently, they’re keen on “leveraging onchain settlement rails,” a fancy way of saying they want to shrug off the help of those bothersome old-fashioned banking systems. Go, modernize!
