It couldn’t even manage to flirt with $205. Pathetic, really. Honestly, beating Bitcoin and Ethereum on the way down is… an achievement? I’m questioning everything. It dipped below $200. Then $198. Officially in a “mood.”
“Stablecoins are the devil, they’ll destroy bank lendin’!” they holler. 🙄 But Coinbase’s policy czar, Faryar Shirzad, ain’t havin’ it. “Nonsense!” he declares, “Most stablecoin demand’s comin’ from folks overseas, not your local farmer lookin’ to stash his piggy bank savings.” 🏦🚫
Woe betide those who underestimate the power of these oceanic creatures; Ethereum’s whales must be akin to Tolstoyan characters, rarely making mere ripples in their wake. Just as whispers of war could shake the spirits along the great corridors of Russian history, so did Bitmine’s acquisition spark fervent whispers among market watchmen. Indeed, transactions of over $1 million enjoyed a sharp incline on the lands of digital metrics sharing, revealing speculations reminiscent of vast bazaars from an era unknown.
21Shares, with trembling fingers and a heart full of ambition, has flung its Form S-1 across the desk of the SEC, demanding immediate action. This proposed Hyperliquid ETF, if blessed by the bureaucratic gods, shall grant investors regulated access to a realm where HYPE tokens dance to the tune of chaos. A masterstroke? A gamble? Only time will whisper the answer. 🎲
Cocoon offers a new approach to AI, moving away from the current model of large companies controlling all the data and computing power. Instead, it will utilize the spare processing power from individual computers, rewarding those who contribute with Toncoin (TON). This creates a more open, community-based system for AI development and computation.
Eighty million souls, or thereabouts, are now granted access to Hyperliquid’s coffers, a place brimming with liquidations, programmable trickery, and the shifting of wealth across chains. One shudders to think of the complexities! It doth transform Bitget Wallet into a portal, a gateway if you will, for the $HYPE token – a name, I confess, that lacks a certain… refinement.
The competition was fiercer than a dragon guarding its treasure, with payments firms scrambling to snatch a slice of the crypto pie. 🥧 And thanks to clearer rules in the US and Europe, even the most cautious bankers were daring to dream of digital-asset treats. 🎉
On the digital altar of X, Schwartz unveiled his parable: “If a CBDC blooms like a wildflower in the cracks of financial tyranny, it is good. But if it withers under the boot of control, it is a curse.” He spoke of the unbanked, the exiled from the halls of finance, who might find solace in a government-run “bank” forced to defend its edicts in the courts of men. Yet, he did not spare his barbs, for he knows well the thorns that accompany such roses. 🌹⚖️
Enter Luca, the crypto soothsayer, who declared that despite prices trending downward, funding rates have taken a nosedive-essentially telling longs to pack their bags. Yet, curiously, Open Interest has ballooned, implying the bears are having the last laugh and trying to push the market off the cliff first. It’s like trying to herd cats while juggling flaming torches-everyone’s unsure what’s real, and nobody knows who’s really winning. The moral? Don’t trust appearances; sometimes the short sellers are just having a good cry into their keyboards.
