On a crisp October morn, Fold Holdings, nestled in the sun-drenched deserts of Phoenix, unveiled its latest folly: a pact with Steak ’n Shake, where Bitcoin rewards are the prize for indulging in a “Bitcoin Meal” or “Bitcoin Steakburger.” A receipt, a code, an app-how modern! How tedious! The promotion, fleeting as a desert mirage, graces all 400 locations, a testament to our insatiable hunger for both calories and currency.
Theta Network proudly revealed that Deutsche Telekom is now part of an elite squad of corporate titans like Google, Samsung, and Sony. Together, they’ll validate transactions and secure Theta’s L1 network-because nothing says “trust” like a group of companies that probably still use fax machines in their back offices. 🕐📄
Derivatives trading, subscription services, and the integration of Deribit-these were the heroes of the hour, driving the beat like a chorus in a Russian folk song. But from there, opinions diverged like paths in a forest of folly.
Recent price movements, if one may call them such, suggest the market is reacting with the enthusiasm of a guest at a funeral. A 2% daily loss and a 6% weekly decline-ah, the thrill of it all! One wonders if the whales have finally grown weary of their own opulence.
The platform, with all the seriousness of a judge at a dog show, declared that this particular stablecoin, emanating from the Trump family’s own cloakroom of financial adventures-World Liberty Financial-was simply approved “through its normal course of business.” Whatever that means, it’s reassuring to know that even in crypto, routine is routine. 🧐
And they’re not just doing it locally – no, these guys have law enforcement buddies in 23 countries, because apparently crime is a global sport now. They’ve become famous, or infamous, for helping bust major cases like Brazil’s Operation Lusocoin – which, let’s be honest, sounds like a secret club that’s probably more fun than your average crypto meetup.
First up, we have the usual suspects: regulatory whispers, macroeconomic jitters, and that one uncle who still thinks Bitcoin is a Ponzi scheme. 🕵️♂️ Meanwhile, Ethereum is over there pretending it’s not sweating, even though its Layer 2 solutions are more tangled than a bowl of Halloween spaghetti. 🍝 And let’s not forget the meme coins, which are somehow still alive, proving that even in a bear market, nonsense thrives. 🤡
As per the ever-helpful data from Coinglass, Solana’s inflows are now teetering at an almost tragic $180.7 million-a far cry from the glory days of $885.02 million just a day earlier. Low inflows, of course, indicate that the market is growing rather bored with our dear Solana. Apparently, the spark of excitement over its ETFs has flickered out like an old candle in a drafty room.
Earlier this week, Pi Network Ventures, in a move that screams “we’re trying to stay relevant,” partnered with OpenMind, a company that develops operating systems for robots. 🦾 Because nothing says “real-world utility” like teaching robots to recognize images while your token’s value fluctuates like a soap opera plot. The collaboration marks Pi’s first foray into the AI sector, a decision as bold as it is bewildering. Volunteer Pi Node operators are now running image recognition models, presumably to identify the faces of investors wondering when their PI will actually be worth something.