Our star of the show, the US-based Kraken, is partnering with the high-flying financial maestro Mastercard to turn the mundane act of paying into a zany adventure. Imagine ordering your morning latte with Bitcoin—utterly brilliant, right?
Alas, traders are left to wonder at the continued departure of funds—after all, if Bitcoin’s dash to $82,000 cannot woo the hearts of investors, pray tell what spectacle could possibly revive their ardor? 🤔
The NYDFS, playing the role of a very stern referee, found Block’s compliance team tripping over its own expansion. One might say Block’s oversight was so laid-back it could’ve taken a nap mid-growth spurt! The real showstopper? Largely unchecked high-risk Bitcoin transactions passed through, masquerading as innocent little trades without so much as a how-do-you-do. 🤔
According to the esteemed scribes at CoinMarketCap, our leading performer’s 24-hour trading volume has taken a dramatic tumble by some 32%—yes, a mere $5,915,252,182.71 🙄. Nevertheless, even this downturn cannot dim XRP’s incandescent glow in the digital realm. Meanwhile, certain dashing exchanges have seen the coin’s volume soar like a sensational aria: a remarkable 11.83% leap on Upbit, or about 411 million XRP. One might faint at such an extravaganza! 👏
According to a spirited dispatch on X by Journalist Eleanor Terrett, the Commission has filed a rebuttal against the emergency motion to slip in decisive evidence in favor of the crypto enterprise. Justin W. Keener, a gentleman with an eye for a plot twist, delivered this request, yet the regulator’s paperwork insists Judge Analisa Torres must politely decline the entire spectacle. 🤔
On April 9, the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the same folks who brought you the thrilling saga of Bitcoin ETF options, decided to let exchanges list options contracts tied to spot Ether (ETH) ETFs. Issuers, however, are still waiting for the SEC to allow Ether ETFs to offer staking, because why make things easy when you can make them complicated? 🎢
Bitcoin, that digital chimera, roared past $83K late Wednesday, spurred by President Donald Trump’s declaration of a 90-day pause on all global U.S. tariffs. Simultaneously, he, with a flourish, slapped China with a 125% tax, ostensibly “based on the lack of respect that China has shown to the world’s markets.” One wonders if markets even possess the capacity for respect! 🤔
Though initial sentiments were, to put it mildly, dubious – owing to recent market calamities and a general aversion to financial frivolity – state sponsor Webster Barnaby, with the silver tongue of a seasoned charmer, and his fellow proponents, managed to turn the tide. One imagines much persuasive rhetoric and, perhaps, a surreptitious wink or two 😉.
Ethereum, that plucky underdog of the crypto world, has recently shed over 5% of its value, sparking a cacophony of debate. Mow, ever the contrarian, insists that ETH remains as overvalued as a Picasso in a thrift store. 🎨
Blackrock, a financial leviathan 🐳 with $11.7 trillion – a sum so vast it could make Midas blush – has deigned to notice cryptocurrencies. Besides running the biggest crypto ETFs, like a digital petting zoo 🐒, they’ve also plunged into the Real World Asset Tokenization (RWA) game. Their BUIDL token, a name only a committee could love, has amassed over $1 billion. Astounding! So, which RWA tokens might bask in the Blackrock afterglow? Pendle (PENDLE), Mantra (OM), Ondo Finance (ONDO), and Chainlink (LINK). Names that sound like characters from a half-forgotten Russian novel, no? 📚
