Apparently, our dear US economy threw a few curveballs—a bunch of signals, FOMC meetings, and macro data, all coming in surprisingly better than expected, which in crypto land, usually means “Uh-oh, maybe don’t get too excited just yet.”
Last Wednesday, the not-so-mysterious working group, led by none other than President Trump’s crew — because who said you can’t have a little irony in crypto? — rolled out a report filled with shiny recommendations on how to organize the chaos: market structure, banking regulations, and how to get the US dollar to wear a crown of stablecoins and crypto taxes, because apparently that’s what’s trendy now.
Picture a tiny, tubby penguin perched on a frosty step marked $0.0315. The wind howls, traders tremble, then Mr. Ali Martinez waddles in wearing thermal socks, proclaiming: “This shelf is packed with more buyers than a pudding factory at lunchtime!”
The trip lasted all of 11 minutes (yes, shorter than your average Zoom meeting). But for Sun, it was a historic flex: youngest Chinese-born astronaut, first crypto mogul on a Forbes cover to touch the stratosphere, and—if we’re being honest—the most expensive “I’m here!” ever. 🌍✨
According to AdaStat’s latest gossip — I mean data — the proposal sailed through with 74% support. That’s 200 voices shouting “Yes!” amidst only six uttering “No,” and seven modest abstainers. Quite the democratic fete, don’t you think? The funds, much like the czar’s treasury, will emanate from the decentralized depths of the on-chain coffers, pioneering a new era where even the noblest protocols get direct cash infusion. Is this the dawn of genuine governance or just finance masquerading as progress? Well, that’s a chat for another coffee. ☕
Per crypto.news, Ethena (ENA) was trading at $0.61 at press time, a modest 11% gain over the past 24 hours. This latest leap extends its 30-day rally to a staggering 142%. Trading volume has swelled by 33%, propelling ENA to the top of the day’s performers and securing its place as the 41st most valuable cryptocurrency. 🌟
At this moment, as fate would have it, Toncoin (TON) trades at $3.56—having snuck down 1.3%—but remains 3.6% higher than last week, and marks a magnificent 30% ({almost Dostoyevsky’s age at his debut trial}) leap in the last moon’s orbit. Between $3.20 and $3.70, the coin—like a Petersburg intellectual pacing his garret—oscillates, muttering to itself about “true value.”
The approval authorizes a treasury withdrawal of 96,817,080 ADA for the 2025 Input Output Engineering (IOE) Core Development Proposal. This is the first time Cardano’s community has explicitly sanctioned core engineering spend via governance, rather than relying on pre-agreed budgets or foundation allocations. A bold step, though one might question the wisdom of entrusting such a vast sum to a single company. 🧠
On August 3, the revelation came—jointly from Ripple, CB Insights, and the UK Blockchain Center—uncovering that these titans of finance are boldly striding into the blockchain abyss. They craft an infrastructure for trading, staking, tokenizing—words that dull the mind but stir the soul. The chase for digital dominance is on, and the banks are all too eager to put their stakes in the digital ground. 🤡
Now, this whale is lugging around 79,461 ETH (sized just right for a small county’s GDP), which right now is about $282.5 million. I hope their pockets are deep and their passwords memorized.
