Bankers Sound the Alarm Over GENIUS Act: Stablecoin Fears Grow

In a letter to the Senate Banking Committee, these associations, representing all 50 states, have raised their voices in unison. They’ve got a list of demands longer than a summer day, and one of them is a bit of an eyebrow-raiser. Their chief complaint? This stablecoin business could become a bit too wild if left unchecked.

🤑 How Bitcoin Heist Hints at Silicon Wannabe Trumps

Antminer Units

Word spreads that the phantasmagoric sum of approximately 314 million was lavished on a fortune’s trinkets-16,290 Antminer U3S21EXPH units-all courtesy of the illustrious Chinese colossus, Bitmain. What say you of this? A veritable feast of 14.02 exahashes per second – enough to tickle the curiosity of those following their cryptic hashes.

Meet Your New Crypto BFF: Gemini Wallet 🤑🔐

So, I was minding my own business, scrolling through the internet, when I stumbled upon this gem (pun intended). Gemini, the crypto exchange that’s always trying to make our lives easier, announced on Aug. 14 the release of the Gemini Wallet. It’s like a Swiss Army knife for crypto, but way cooler. Designed to streamline onchain interactions for both everyday users and developers, it comes with the Gemini Onchain Dashboard-a browser-based hub where you can view your holdings, explore decentralized applications, and even earn returns through DeFi vaults. Eric Kuhn, head of onchain at Gemini, had this to say:

Crypto Chaos: America’s Power Grab?! 😱

SEC Chairman Paul Atkins – a name that practically *begs* to be mispronounced – was quoted as saying this whole shebang is thanks to the GENIUS Act. GENIUS, naturally. As if anyone’s ever accused the financial world of lacking subtlety. He promised to end the ‘regulatory uncertainty’ that’s been bothering the crypto people. Apparently, a bit of thrilling unpredictability is just *so* last season. His aim, he explains, is “clarity, compliance, and confidence”. Which translates to, roughly, “Do what we say, when we say, or face consequences.”

Sam Altman Wants to Buy Chrome if Google is Forced to Sell – OpenAI’s New World Domination Plan

During a cozy little dinner with The Verge journos in San Francisco, Altman revealed his enormous ambitions for OpenAI. He spoke of huge infrastructure investments, new business ventures, and an endless appetite for expansion. Oh, and let’s not forget-he mentioned the possibility of a brain-computer interface company that might rival the good ol’ Neuralink. Sure, because we all need to plug our brains into machines. 🧠💥

XRP to $5? Whales Whisper, Markets Weep, and Dostoevsky Laughs 😂

On August 15, a voice cried out in the wilderness of X, proclaiming XRP’s bullish flag-a pattern of hope, or a mirage in the desert of despair? The analyst, with the zeal of a prophet, foretold a breakout to $5.00. But mere hours before, the token had been battered, its value slashed to $3.05 in a liquidation cascade that wiped out $1 billion. Retail traders wept, while the whales, ever silent, amassed their treasures. As of press time, XRP clings to $3.00-a survivor, or a victim of its own ambition? 💸