Currency Forecast

According to the big brains at Dune Analytics (and a humblebrag on X), since Q1 2023, PancakeSwap’s trading volume has shot up by a face-melting 921%. That’s like going from a kiddie pool splash to the Olympic swimming finals! Meanwhile, users and transaction counts are doing a happy dance too, jumping 81% and 159%, respectively. Over 123 million users have tossed their crypto pancakes here, flipping a mind-boggling $1.33 trillion in total trades. Forget maple syrup, this is sticky money! 🐰💸

People will happily pay $100 per $XRP

And once they’re getting their heads around a $100 #XRP, once that becomes the new cheap entry point into $XRP

That’s when we see $XRP skyrocket to $1,000

And people will once again happily pay $1,000 per $XRP

To be part of the new…

Despite the miraculous recovery of the funds, ZK, the network’s beleaguered token, continues to face a grim future, plunging further into bearish sentiment. Can anyone save it from its downward spiral? 🐻

And what a firecracker! Alarm bells clanged louder than a church bell on Easter — how does one who decrees financial law start a venture where he stands as both czar and profiteer? Conflicts are not merely sketched, they’re tattooed on this curious trinket’s very constitution. Ladies and gentlemen, strap in — the circus is in town.

Jay Clayton, the freshly minted interim US Attorney for Manhattan, kindly dropped a bombshell on April 23 by submitting over 200 victim impact statements. These testimonies stretch over 418 pages of heartbreak and horror from Celsius users, some brave enough to reveal their names, others hiding behind initials like mysterious crypto vigilantes.

Get ready to play on iOS and Android (because, duh, who doesn’t have a phone these days?), with a cheeky pre-release in May to warm up those thumbs. Oh, and they’re teaming up with the Colombian studio Bacon Games – because who doesn’t love a good partnership with a side of crispy bacon? 🥓

“Not quite at the finish line, old sport,” chortled the Bitfinex scribblers on April 23, as they peered through their monocles into the murky waters of CPI numbers, erratic Powell comments, and those mercurial equity earnings. Should Bitcoin weather this tempest, what was once a fleeting dalliance with independence might just mature into a full-fledged elopement with ‘regime change.’ Quite the soap opera!

And what’s this? A green candle closing at $0.181? Well, it’s no firecracker, but you know what they say – a green candle here and a green candle there, and before you know it, you’re looking at a full-fledged parade. If Dogecoin manages to break through the resistance at $0.185, who knows, we might just find ourselves staring at $0.20 like it’s the next big milestone on the doggone highway to riches. Hold on tight, the ride’s just beginning. 🐕🚀

“This credit facility is an essential part of our efforts to diversify financing sources, support operations, and create long-term shareholder value,” announced the ever-dignified Jason Les, CEO of Riot Platforms, whose name now has an even more pleasant ring to it as his company soars into the financial stratosphere. 🚀

So, here’s the latest drama in Washington, and no, it’s not another House hearing about UFOs or the national debt. The U.S. lawmakers are practically throwing confetti over Paul Atkins’ appointment as the new Chairman of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). Yes, *that* SEC—the place that usually brings about nightmares for any crypto enthusiast. But Atkins is here to change all that. Or so they say.