Cryptocurrency-friendly investment firm Franklin Templeton introduced a blockchain-based money-market fund for professional investors in Hong Kong, declaring war on traditional finance with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. And yes, they’re working on a retail version-because why let logic stand in the way of profit? 🚀
For six long days, the Bitcoin ETFs have wept, shedding $137 million on November 5 alone, according to the wise sages at SoSoValue. This brings their total tears to over $2.05 billion, a sum that could buy a small village-or at least a very large samovar. 🫖 Trading, you say? Muted, like a choir of monks after too much kvass. Only half of the twelve ETF issuers bothered to show up, and even then, five managed to attract inflows. Fidelity’s FBTC, the hero of the hour, brought in $113 million, while Ark & 21Shares’ ARKB added $83 million. Grayscale, Bitwise, and VanEck also scraped together some crumbs. 🍞
Apparently, this whole thing is because of the GENIUS Act. 🤔 Genius, my foot. More like the “Let’s-Make-Stablecoins-Great-for-Gun-Nuts Act.” But hey, at least it’s bipartisan, right? 🙄
Bitcoin’s trying to climb a mountain made of sell orders, and it’s not even halfway up. 🧱💸
Currently, it’s hovering around $2.30. It bounced off $2.15, like a particularly resilient rubber ball. So, there’s that. Renewed investor confidence they call it. I call it a fickle market. 🤷♀️
Now, if you’re thinking, “Well, that’s it, the sky is falling,” don’t panic just yet. Financial wizard Shanaka Anslem Perera says this crash might be the prelude to something far more dramatic. Buckle up – he calls it the “$6 trillion endgame.” Yeah, I know, sounds like something straight out of a sci-fi thriller, but stay with me.
The total crypto market cap rose 2.3% to $3.55 trillion. A 2.3% rise, which is like saying the sky is slightly less likely to fall today. 🌥️ Bitcoin climbed 1.6% to $103,815. A 1.6% climb, which is about as exciting as watching paint dry, but at least it’s not falling. 🧱 Ethereum advanced 2.9% to $3,440. A 2.9% rise, which is like a toddler taking a step forward while holding onto the couch for dear life. 🧸 XRP traded at $2.35 after a 4.4% gain, and BNB added 1.1% to reach $957. A 4.4% gain, which is like a hiccup in the grand scheme of things. 🧠
SBI, ever the visionary, dreams of transforming from a mere token issuer into a digital asset titan, a hub where securities are minted, settled, and traded with the precision of a Swiss watch. 🕰️ But fear not, regulators! Their every move is cloaked in the armor of compliance, ensuring no rogue token escapes their watchful eye. 👀
For years now, the residents have been losing their peace-and their sanity-thanks to the never-ending noise from MARA’s machines. Sleepless nights? Check. Headaches? Check. Hearing problems? Oh, definitely. Some folks have even packed up and left, heading for places that don’t sound like the inside of a jet engine. MARA tried to help by building a 24-foot wall and swapping out some of its noisy cooling fans for quieter liquid systems. But, as you can guess, the noise is still there, louder than ever.
