Ethereum’s Fusaka & Glamsterdam

And beyond Fusaka, lurking like a phantom in the mists, is “Glamsterdam.” A name, wouldn’t you say? All glitz and no substance, perhaps. The feature upgrades, the echoes of potential, are to be “confirmed” on August 1st. Confirmed! As if the future could be captured in a bureaucratic decree. 😂

Ethereum Skyrockets to $41K? Wodehouse Style Turns Crypto Genesis into a Comedy of Errors

Now, back in the halcyon days of 2020—dear me, how the years do fly—ETH was fiddling about at a humble $30 when suddenly, what with COVID stimmy checks, the thing caught fire. Before you could say “bag of chips,” it had done a 59X flip and was prancing about at a rather fancy $4,800, hitting a peak in 2021 that made even the most hardened speculators spill their gin. 🍸

Fantasy.top’s Desperate Dash to Base: A Crypto Comedy 🎭

Naturally, the timing is impeccable—if by impeccable, one means “wildly opportunistic.” As crypto markets froth like a cappuccino at a Milanese café, Fantasy.top is betting that improved sentiment will magically resurrect interest in their SocialFi experiment. Because, darling, what could possibly go wrong?

Indian Exchange CoinDCX Hacked for $44 Million, No Disclosure Yet

Now, let’s talk about how the hacker pulled off this heist. They didn’t just walk in and grab the cash like a common thief. No, no, they had to use Tornado Cash, which, let’s face it, sounds like something out of a bad action movie. This nifty tool let the hacker cover their tracks and move stolen stablecoins from Solana to Ethereum. Why? Because making it harder to trace is just the hacker’s way of saying, “I’m smarter than you!”

The Curious Case of SEI: Will It Break Through and Hit $0.50 or Just Keep Fiddling? 🤔💰

With volume dancing like a lively jig and structural support levels standing firm, SEI has decided it’s a fine time to position itself for an ascendance, perhaps a great leap towards that tantalizing figure of $0.50. The market’s sentiment, like a wild beast, appears supportive, as SEI trades with the kind of confidence usually reserved for a cat walking atop a fence, just above the key moving averages.