Currency Forecast

While Bitcoin’s (BTC) price has pulled back recently, it remains much higher than the year-to-date low. A minor stumble for a digital asset that’s mastered the art of being both a speculative gamble and a store of value. Meanwhile, Bitcoin ETFs continue to add assets this year, with their cumulative inflows rising by $54 billion since January last year. One wonders if the inflows are from investors or just confused algorithms. 🤖

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Bitwise, WisdomTree, and six other “crypto gurus” are playing dress-up with their S-1 filings, all eyeing October like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. The SEC’s recent Ripple dismissal? Just a warm-up act for this ETF circus. 🎪

Metaplanet, not content with mere handfuls, gathered unto itself a hoard of Bitcoin numbering 20,000-valued beyond two billion weary dollars-like a miser clutching gold coins beneath his tattered coat, all in the pursuit of a treasury strategy as unyielding as a steadfast general in the face of despair.

Investors, ever the opportunists, are scooping up XRP at bargain prices, their eyes gleaming with visions of future riches. 💰 The irony? The more they accumulate, the more they seem to believe in a price rebound. 🤨

So, the NFT market is tanking harder than my New Year’s resolutions, and yet, somehow, CryptoPunks are still the cool kids at the party. Meanwhile, Ethereum is leading sales like it’s the only one who brought snacks, but even it’s down 29.88%. Wash trading? Down 68.03%. Guess someone finally realized it’s just digital money laundering. 🧼💸

Now, here’s the thing: RedStone [RED], that oracle token sprinting like a horse who just saw the barn door open, clocked a 101% spike in daily trading volume over the past day. Quite the spectacle.

Sure, some metrics suggest a slow-but-steady revival, but let’s not kid ourselves: we’re still light-years away from the glory days when everyone and their cat was minting something called “CryptoKitties.” 🐱✨

According to EPOCH AI, the size of training datasets has been ballooning since 2010 at a rate that would make a banker blush. At this pace, we’ll soon be out of high-quality public data. Imagine telling your AI assistant to write a poem, and it just stares back blankly because it ran out of rhymes in 2027. Tragic, isn’t it? 😢

Cardano (ADA) decided to play hard to get, dropping a modest 1% in the last 24 hours because apparently, it’s not a morning person.