Currency Forecast

You know what’s absolutely hysterical? These Wall Street suits – Goldman Sachs, Blackrock, and Citi (or as I like to call them, the Three Stooges of Finance) – are running around like my sister Amy during a spider sighting. They’re all “recession this” and “market crash that.” Meanwhile, altcoins are partying like it’s 1999, with something called JasmyCoin up 18%. (I’m pretty sure that’s just a fancy way of saying “digital pocket lint.”) 🎪

Market observations reveal that XRP has endured its most lamentable day since November 2024, plummeting 20% from its previous exalted rate of $2.11 to the modest sum of $1.65. This precipitous fall, akin to a misplaced dance step at a ball, is but one note in the broader symphony of a renewed sell-off that has shaken the very foundations of the cryptocurrency sphere.

According to the illustrious crypto data and analytics oracle, Artemis Terminal, on the fateful day of March 17, 2024, the number of active developers gracing open-source repositories was a robust 12,380. Fast forward to March 16, and we find ourselves staring at a dismal figure of approximately 7,600, a drop that echoes a 38.6% decline in weekly active developers. A veritable tragedy, wouldn’t you agree? 📉

Within the ledgers of modern lore, Trump’s assortment of tokens—TROG, TRUMP, TUA, MATIC, GUA, WFI, USACOIN, and the ever-steady USDC—once sparkled like fireflies on a warm summer night. Yet all but the dependable USDC have flickered out since the year’s first light, succumbing to the harsh winds of a capricious market.

The funding round saw participation from angel investors Christopher Grilhault des Fontaines (yes, that’s a real name) and Jean-Luc Bernard, who are apparently very interested in the future of money. Or maybe they just like the sound of their own names. 🤷‍♂️

According to Taiwan, China is not just playing with fire; it’s dousing the whole stage in gasoline, spreading “fake news and lies” with the finesse of a clumsy magician. The aim? To have the Taiwanese citizens bickering like siblings over the last piece of cake, thereby fracturing their unity. 🍰

Amid the ruckus, the coin famously skirted beneath a critical ascending support line before snapping back, all while analyst Kevin (@Kev_Capital_TA) stood by like a proper conjurer, proclaiming that DOGE was merely testing its “lines in the sand.” Despite momentarily dipping below a pink trendline from mid-2023, our daredevil DOGE soared back above this historical support around $0.138—home to the 38.2% Fibonacci retracement level drawn from the $0.049 swing low to the lofty $0.738 peak.

The unfortunate casualties, comprising a motley crew of erstwhile DeFi darlings, would-be infrastructural titans, and those plucky community-driven tokens, include Badger DAO (BADGER), Balancer (BAL), Beta Finance (BETA), and not to forget Cream Finance (CREAM)—a project that was never quite the crème de la crème. Among others are Cortex (CTXC), aelf (ELF), Firo (FIRO), and Kava Lend (HARD), descending further into anonymity like so many forgotten stars of yore. The list continues with NULS, Prosper (PROS), Status (SNT), TROY, UniLend (UFT), and the exotic-sounding VIDT DAO (VIDT). If this was a funeral, they’d be serving lukewarm tea and stale scones. 🍵

Wait, there’s more. Fartcoin’s been hanging around like a cool kid in school—calm, collected, and steadily holding on even when the rest of the crypto market was flopping like a fish out of water. As the broader crypto market tried to bounce back, Fartcoin decided to just stay cool, hitting a resistance level at $0.7153 twice—once on February 11 and again on March 26. But… spoiler alert: it couldn’t break through. That didn’t stop it though. Nope, it’s still thriving!

So, get this—Binance, in all their infinite wisdom, confirmed they’re the first exchange to list the KERNEL token. Yep, they’re giving their community an exclusive early peek at this restaking extravaganza. It’s like having a backstage pass to a show you never really asked to see! 😂