What does this mean, you ask? Why, nothing less than modernizing U.S. financial regulations to bring crypto innovation onshore by establishing clear, supportive rules for digital assets. And lo and behold, the market reacted with all the subtlety of a drunk poet at a wedding: $BTC surged over 28% to $90 billion since the news broke. Truly, the coins danced in their digital wallets like peas in a pod. đșđ
According to the ever-reliable CEO Brian Armstrongâwho, unlike most CEOs, has mastered the art of casually flaunting billion-dollar acquisitions in a single X (formerly Twitter) postâCoinbase added more than 2,500 BTC in Q2 of 2025. Rumor has it, theyâre planning to keep stacking âem, because who needs sleep when youâre busy collecting digital gold? Their average purchase price? A modest $740 millionâa figure that, at current market prices, makes their paper gains over half a billion dollars. Planning to make it rain, Coinbase? Looks like it. đ§ïžđž
Hyperliquid is basically the sad puppy of the crypto world today, dropping 9.35% in just 24 hours to trade at $39.35. Over the past week, itâs lost 7.90%. Ouch! But hey, at least itâs hanging on with a market cap of $13.1 billion. Guess itâs hard to stay liquid when youâre drowning in a pool of red. đ¶
Chairman Atkins, armored with both rhetoric and PowerPoint, addressed the multitudesâby which I mean an audience more restless than raptâspeaking of Project Crypto, a name almost too stylish for government work. With cautious pride and perhaps a suppressed smile, he declared his intent to make America not just great, but the crypto capital of a world perpetually on the edge of a server crash. âLong live the Golden Age!â he exclaimed, invoking President Trumpâs vision. âOur digital asset economy will shine, provided we can decipher our own guidelines.â
La Financial Conduct Authority a annoncĂ© le 1er aoĂ»t que les investisseurs particuliers au Royaume-Uni auront accĂšs aux notes d’Ă©change cryptographiques Ă partir du 8 octobre, mais uniquement celles cotĂ©es sur des bourses approuvĂ©es par la FCA. đđ
The UN just published a revised version of the System of National Accounts (SNA), which formally incorporates Bitcoin and other qualified crypto-assets into national wealth statistics. It may not seem like much, but recognition on this level from the UN should do wonders for crypto adoption long-term. đ
This whole storyâs been longer than a sitcom rerun. Rippleâs out, penalty paid, but the SEC? Still hanging in there, probably sipping coffee and pretending theyâre busy. The real kicker? The court says, âHey, by August 15, 2025, you gotta tell us whatâs up.â Like some sad high school deadline, but instead of a report card, itâs legal doom or glory. đ
Meanwhile, in a twist of fate that would make Kafka blush, the developing world is supposed to rejoice as stablecoins “lift them from poverty” đ©âš. Institutional investors, DeFi enthusiasts, and your average Joe are all allegedly queuing up to join this brave new financial circus. But what could possibly go wrong?
Make no mistake; this isnât idle salon chatter between courses of roast quail. For years, Dimon wagged a disapproving finger, dismissing crypto as a child might the mathematics master. But now? He endorses dollar-pegged tokens. Not due to a sudden, inconvenient romance with algorithms, but because his clientsâall 21st-century Gatsby aspirantsâare simply too demanding to ignore. The man, ever practical, has thrown his signature into the ledger. Perhaps the allure of stablecoins is stronger than that of traditional banking hats.
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