Crypto Goes Full Mafia: Wrench Attacks Up 75% – Hide Your Keys, Not Your Kids!

In 2025, crypto crime decided to go analog. Because why hack a computer when you can just kidnap someone’s grandma and demand their private keys? Efficiency, people!

In 2025, crypto crime decided to go analog. Because why hack a computer when you can just kidnap someone’s grandma and demand their private keys? Efficiency, people!
Since its humble origin under the MediaFuse umbrella, Chainwire has swollen to accommodate more than 2,000 paying organizations and has churned through over 10,000 press releases. From scrappy startups to heavyweight exchanges, the pipeline is a proper sausage factory. The secret sauce? the “Guaranteed Coverage” model. Traditional wires bury crypto news in footers that nobody reads; Chainwire rigs releases to sit proudly on the most-read crypto sites, giving launches the instant impact they crave-like turning on a light switch in a dark room full of earphones.
BeInCrypto, ever the astute observer of this digital bazaar, has deigned to analyze three such altcoins. Pray, keep them on your radar, for the first week of February may yet reveal their true mettle.
So, Michael Saylor’s name popped up in the Epstein files, and the world collectively shrugged. Sure, Peggy Siegal called him a “drugged zombie” with the personality of a paperclip, but let’s be honest-that’s not exactly a revelation. The man’s idea of a wild night is probably watching the Bitcoin price chart flicker. No island trips, no criminal allegations, just a guy who paid $25,000 to be ignored at a dinner party. Truly, the American dream.

On a fine Monday morn, Ripple did announce that they had received full approval of an Electronic Money Institution (EMI) license from Luxembourg’s financial regulator, the Commission de Surveillance du Secteur Financier (CSSF). A mouthful, to be sure, but a necessary one for those who wish to navigate the treacherous waters of regulated payments across the European Union.
In a missive shared on X, the former Coinbase CTO unveils a truth too bitter for many to swallow: the global fiat system-especially those dollar-centric economies-is spiraling headfirst into a sovereign debt abyss. And what will the beleaguered governments do? Why, they’ll resort to their age-old tricks of taxation, capital controls, or simply snatching your hard-earned wealth with glee.

As February 2026 unfolds, DOGE finds itself ensnared in a narrow consolidation range, trading below several intermediate resistance levels. Market analysts, with their charts and prognostications, declare that such compression often precedes a dramatic resolution. Ah, the suspense! Yet, one must tread carefully, for current conditions demand confirmation signals rather than the folly of isolated indicators.
In a plot twist that even Netflix would reject, Citgo Petroleum has decided to dip its toes back into Venezuelan crude oil, a move as surprising as finding out your ex still has your sweatshirt. According to “sources familiar with the matter” (read: people who probably shouldn’t be talking), this is the first time in seven years Citgo has gone down this road. Why now? Well, it seems the U.S. has been making nice with Venezuela since Nicolás Maduro was dramatically captured by U.S. forces on January 3, 2026. Maduro, now a Brooklyn resident (albeit in a less desirable neighborhood), has pleaded not guilty to charges that include narco-terrorism and conspiracy to import cocaine. Because nothing says “international diplomacy” like a high-stakes drug bust.
In the grand theater of cryptocurrency, where fortunes are made and lost with the flick of a digital switch, one trader-known to the world as the Hyperunit whale-has recently experienced a most devastating denouement. This individual, who had once danced in the limelight alongside Garrett Jin, has now departed from a colossal position in Ether, incurring a total loss close to $250 million. What remains in the depths of the Hyperliquid account? A mere $53, perhaps enough to buy a cup of coffee-or two, if one is courageous.
January closed with a ten percent decline, the fourth consecutive month in the red-an occurrence that would trouble even the most stoic of our bear-scarred neighbors.