Our hero—famous for helping birth the Ethereum Name Service (ENS)—pleaded guilty to sanctions violations in 2021. Seems that chatting about dodging sanctions to the folks in Pyongyang wasn’t exactly on America’s to-do list. Who knew? Griff then cooled his heels until the judge decided 56 months should be enough so he could get back out to do something even more outrageous—like maybe teaching cats to mine crypto!
In the past 24 hours, this cheeky little token has inflated by a whopping 39%, proving that even in a deflating market, FARTCOIN knows how to let one rip. 💨📈
But wait, there’s more! This isn’t their first rodeo. They also sold 6,630 ETH in May 2022 and 4,035 ETH in June 2023 — each time during a major market dip. Clearly, they have a knack for timing the market… or perhaps they just enjoy the thrill of selling low. 🤷♂️
Conspiratorial murmurs stir in the corners: are we the product perpetually molded by the whims of these tech titans? The market cap of these behemoths swells as we offer our essence, our data, like modern-day sacrifices upon the altar of profit. Yet, a deeper truth begins to rise from the ashes of our discontent. Individuals start to awaken, rubbing the sleep from their eyes, recognizing this systemic absurdity as little more than a circus act where they are the unwitting clowns. 🎪
Not long ago, after a woeful descent below $1.80, this digital darling rebounded like a mischievous phoenix. Those Bollinger Bands, tighter than a detestable corset at tea time, have since expanded, suggesting that volatility has awakened from its nap and is ready to host an extravagant party. The price flutters toward $2.10, whispering to us, “Why yes, I do believe I shall ascend further, thank you very much.” 😏
Now, folks are scratchin’ their heads. Why’s he holdin’ onto all that dough? And why’s he still turnin’ his nose up at Bitcoin, that fancy digital gold that all the kids are talkin’ about? 🤔
Ah, Trump’s 90-day “relaxation” on tariffs! Finally, a moment of peace in this whirlwind. Investors, once burdened by the ominous weight of uncertainty, are now celebrating like they’ve discovered the fountain of youth. The crypto market has had a good old jump, and with Bitcoin once again flexing its muscles, trading at a spectacular $82.1k with a cheeky 7% surge in the last 24 hours, things are looking up for MicroStrategy.
Now, here’s the part where the plot thickens, my dear friend. Deaton, the man of unwavering belief, dares to suggest that the gap between XRP and Ethereum—oh yes, that revered behemoth of the blockchain world—is smaller than one might think. Can it be true? Is the mighty Ethereum truly trembling at the rise of XRP? It’s not just a matter of numbers, but of something far more visceral—momentum, like a rolling stone gathering moss, or perhaps more fittingly, like a gambler doubling down at the roulette table. You see, there was the launch of the 2x XRP ETF (XXRP), a most peculiar thing, but one that made quite a stir. In its first day of trading, it raked in a modest $5 million—a sum that would make a mere mortal weep. Yet, for the uninitiated, this might seem unremarkable. But for Deaton and his loyal XRP brethren, this is no small feat. No, this places the ETF in the top 5% of all ETF launches, outshining the 2x Solana ETF (SOLT) by a margin so great that even a blind man could see it.
Whispers swirl that TRUMP could scamper upward by an astounding 138% should it tiptoe beyond the lofty $11.96 threshold. In the gloom of the crypto stage, a sturdy safety cushion stands guard at $7.13, ready to catch any tumbling dreams. 💥
The so-called rally was ignited by none other than President Trump, who dropped the bombshell of a 90-day tariff truce. Social media went wild, painting fantasies of a never-ending bull run in both stocks and crypto. Yet, analysts at Goldman Sachs, the cautious sages of Wall Street, warn that those thrilling multiweek, double-digit equity rallies are hardly a rarity in the shadowy realm of bear markets.