Their magical concoction, lovingly called the PROOF Act, forbids crypto custodians from blending your precious golden goose eggs with their own cookie jar. And oh, it doesn’t end there: the Act demands monthly reserve audits, so those digital treasure troves better show what they truly hold like a proud peacock. 🦚✨
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Deaton? That guy? Against Ed Markey?” But before you start grabbing your popcorn, let me tell you: a recent poll might just make you reconsider your bet. SurveyUSA—yes, that trusty polling crew—teamed up with the Massachusetts Responsible Alliance (because, of course, everything has an alliance these days) to ask 775 registered voters what they think of a Deaton vs. Markey showdown. At first, Markey was ahead by a solid margin: 45% to Deaton’s 26%. And let’s not forget the 30% who were sitting on the fence, likely flipping a coin between the two. 🧐
In a recent video, Jeremie, with the precision of a butler polishing silver, delved into the mathematical realities of such a price prediction. He didn’t just scratch the surface; he went full Jeeves, explaining what a $1 SHIB would mean for its market capitalization. 🧐
Ah, Dogecoin! Once the darling of the masses, it soared to dizzying heights following the electoral triumph of Mr. Trump, ballooning to a staggering peak of nearly $0.5 in a mere blink of an eye. One could almost hear the jubilant cries of its devotees echoing through the halls of social media.
Then we have the Office of Inspector General – the self-appointed rule enforcers of the SEC. And guess what? They found zero criminal violations. Yeah, zero! As if that settles everything, right? 🙄
As if caught in the middle of a financial soap opera, the major stock indices are recovering from the nerve-wracking episodes of the U.S. trade war. Take the S&P 500, which in an unexpected burst of optimism, leaped by 43.75 points—an increase that would give even the most jaded accountant a reason to smile (if only for 0.83% at 5,531!). Meanwhile, the Nasdaq, clearly on a mission to defy gravity, soared by 168.65 points (1.02%) to a dazzling 16,555.96. And let’s not forget the stalwart Dow Jones, which ambled up by 316.40 points, standing tall at 39,910. Who knew numbers could be this entertaining?
The IRS, in their infinite wisdom, decided to redefine what constitutes a broker by including decentralized crypto exchanges. Because, you know, why not? These platforms, where people can conduct direct transactions without traditional mediators, would’ve had to submit user tax data to the IRS. But let’s be real, DeFi systems can’t even get their act together to collect personal data, so this rule was DOA. 💀
Now, this here case is no small potatoes. Bloomberg, that fine oracle of finance, has reported that the legal status of these officials is as tangled as a ball of yarn, closely resembling that of the Federal Reserve governors. The outcome could very well decide if a president can give the ol’ heave-ho to the Fed chair. And let me tell you, that’s a game changer! 🎩
“America ought to guard the prime station of the U.S. dollar for global dealings—a seat which Bitcoin, with its flashlike transfers, dares to eye.”
DOGE, that lovable meme coin, has decided to climb 1.53% since yesterday. Because why not? 🐕📈