In their fourth annual prophecy-er, market outlook-Korbit’s wise scribes have forsaken the mundane four-year halving cycle. Nay! They claim Bitcoin’s destiny is now tethered to the mighty productivity of the U.S., a land where “stronger Reaganomics” reigns supreme. 🦅🇺🇸
VTB, Russia\’s second-largest bank, is set to dip its toes into the crypto market, because what\’s a better way to launder your ill-gotten gains than through cryptocurrency? 🤣 The bank plans to test spot crypto trading for wealthy clients in 2026, because who needs financial inclusion when you have a fat wallet? 🤑
In Dubai, at the grand convocation known as Binance Blockchain Week, three sages-Ripple’s Garlinghouse, Solana’s envisioning Liu, and the prudent Teng of Binance-convened under the moderating gaze of one Dan Murphy of CNBC. It was there they projected their visions upon the canvas of Bitcoin’s future.
Their new fund, EPXC (because acronyms are so trustworthy), is basically a glorified SPY options buffet. Sell puts? Sure! Generate income? Why not! Just don’t ask what happens when the market decides to throw a tantrum. 🤪
The XRP price, ever the drama queen, has slumped 0.17% in the past 24 hours-a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions 🎭📉.
Back in the halcyon days of 2021, Burry spotted what he called a “textbook parabolic structure” in Bitcoin-a bubble so obvious it could’ve been drawn by a child with a crayon. And sure enough, the thing popped like a soap bubble in a hurricane, first in mid-2021, then with a vengeance in 2022, when it plummeted over 70% from its peak. “See?” Burry might’ve chuckled, “I didn’t need a crystal ball, just a pair of eyes.” 👀
Expectations gallop ahead like a runaway troika while reality plods behind like a tired postal horse. Sentiment changes more often than a provincial governor’s moods, leaving every bounce as reliable as a promise from a tax collector.
In a move that screams “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed,” Yakovenko threw shade at Base lead Jesse Pollak, claiming cross-chain bridges are less neutral than a Swiss referee in a soccer match. 🏆 According to him, these bridges are just fancy toll booths 🚦 deciding who gets the fees and who’s left holding the bag. 💰
This year seems stuck in neutral, with volatility creeping up like an unexpected guest at the party, while sentiment remains trapped in a deep state of fear. But don’t let that fool you-institutions now hold over a million BTC, forming a sturdy safety net that might just keep things from crashing. Talk about an awkward plot twist.
