Currency Forecast

Now, according to the fine print-and I mean finer than a spider’s web-Changpeng Zhao, or CZ as he’s fondly dubbed (no relation to the famous magician, mind you), has taken a seat at the advisory table of this startup. They say it’s all about “alignment.” I reckon that’s just a fancy way of saying, “We’re in cahoots!” Armaan Kalsi, the big cheese and CEO of Genius, boldly claims he’s fashioning an on-chain Binance. Sounds a bit like making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear if you ask me! 🐷✨

The dream? A world where sending crypto is smoother than a country singer’s ballad, with fees that don’t spike higher than a barn-raising in July. No more sweating over gas prices like a hog at a barbecue. Just… peace. 🍋💸

Meanwhile, the cryptocurrency market traded marginally lower as the real-world asset (RWA) sector dragged prices lower. Bitcoin (BTC) dropped to a low of $90,174 on Monday before rebounding to reclaim $92,000. The flagship cryptocurrency is marginally up over the past 24 hours, trading around $92,020. 📉 Just a normal Tuesday, right? 🤷‍♀️

Salad.com, that GPU cloud platform with a heart of gold (and a few GPUs), teams up with Golem Network, the OG of decentralized computing. Together, they’re playing a high-stakes game of “Can DePIN protocols handle the real deal?” 🤔

In an interview with Coindesk, he basically said, “Hey crypto community, stop obsessing over quantum computing. It’s not the villain you think it is!”

Crypto ETF issuer 21Shares, which clearly has a thing for three-digit numbers, filed its prospectus and plans to launch this week. Or maybe next week. The exact date remains a mystery, like the last sock in a laundry pile. This will be the third Dogecoin ETF, joining Grayscale and Bitwise’s offerings, which launched last year like they were auditioning for a reality show called Dogecoin: The Comeback Trail.

Standard Chartered, that enigmatic oracle of capital, peers into the abyss of 2030 and sees Ethereum’s redemption arc-though its 2026 forecast lies prostrate, battered by Bitcoin’s melancholy. 📉

Weekends and holidays, those bane of all activity, do indeed slow the pace, yet once the tides of settlement resume, the momentum returns with vigor. What is most telling, however, is that the rebound has surpassed recent local highs, suggesting a growing involvement rather than a single actor’s whimsy. 🕵️‍♀️

Unlike prior rallies-where Bitcoin looked like a toddler trying to ride a tricycle-this time, selling pressure is lighter. Is it a sign of strength? Or just everyone’s Wi-Fi being too slow to panic? 🤷♂️📶

Vitalik Buterin, the modern-day prophet, doth march against Elon Musk’s promise of transparency. He seeks not mere open-source code, but systems that test algorithmic decisions-like a child demanding a mirror to see his own face! 🤖🎭