Investors are betting on a 0.25% rate cut with the enthusiasm of a group of pigeons eyeing a breadcrumb. CME Group data says there’s a 90% chance of this happening, which is about the same odds as my neighbor finally fixing his lawn gnomes. Polymarket gamblers are also throwing their weight behind the cut, probably because they’ve run out of other hobbies. 🎲
In a filing with the US Securities and Exchange Commission (because, of course, they need the SEC’s blessing for this genius move), Tidal Trust II submitted a Form N-1A. This could add a couple of Bitcoin-based ETFs to their already mind-boggling collection of funds. The kicker? These ETFs will ONLY trade Bitcoin after the US market closes. Yep, Bitcoin will be chilling in the portfolio while you’re on your couch watching reruns of whatever nonsense is on TV. 📺
While the market’s been all about rate cuts lately, recent economic data and climbing bond yields are giving us that “are you sure you want to do this?” vibe. Translation: investors are starting to wonder if the Federal Reserve can really pivot as fast as they hope (spoiler alert: they can’t). So now we’re in that sweet spot where traders are treading lightly, like someone trying to sneak snacks into a movie theater. Will this FOMC meeting lead to sweet relief or make us all wish we were watching a rom-com instead?
Imagine, if you will, the miners-those valiant computational beasts-pushing their rigs to the brink, only to suddenly back away. The Hashrate, that measure of raw, unbridled power, flickers like a dying flame, hinting at a hard winter for those who chase the elusive dollar. When the 30-day ribbon dips below the 60-day, it’s as if miners, exhausted and battered, start turning off their machines-giving up, capitulating, like pigeons scattering at a cat’s approach.
Andrew Tate’s post questioning why MicroStrategy’s ~10,000 BTC purchase did not move Bitcoin’s price has triggered widespread debate across the crypto community. The exchange highlights a persistent point of confusion among retail traders: how can a buy of this scale take place without producing a visible market reaction? 🤷♂️
This revelation arrives via Interpretive Letter 1188, which is less a legal document and more a bedtime story for compliance officers: “Once upon a time, there was a bank that didn’t lose money… at least, not yet.”
In partnership with Aleo, the self-proclaimed guardian of secrecy, Circle embarks on this noble quest. 🛡️ Howard Wu, Aleo’s co-founder, proclaims that privacy is the elixir of adoption, the key to unlocking the hearts of the wary. Yet, let us not forget-Circle, ever the obedient servant, shall reveal all to the watchful eyes of regulators and law enforcement. 🕵️♀️ What a farce! Privacy, they say, but only when it suits the masters of the game.
“Quelle avancée monumentale dans la réforme de notre noble système financier!” s’écrie le vaillant Brian, tout en saluant la noble Dame Caroline D’Pham, qui, avec vaillance, a permis cette avancée. 🏦🚀
Even more telling, though, is what is going on off the chart. In addition to a startling +1.06 trillion net increase in SHIB on exchanges in a single day, SHIB recorded the most whale transactions since June 6 today. Higher volatility is nearly always preceded by this combination of increased whale activity and a significant inflow to centralized exchanges. Although it does not give us a clear direction, it does confirm that major players are making changes, which will soon have an effect on retail traders. 🐳💥
