On December 10th, our troubled protagonist stood at $138, a 5% uptick, a fleeting smile in the face of overwhelming gloom. The past week has been a tedious dance between $128 and $145, a pathetic waltz of indecision. Still, a burdening 17% decline threatens its monthly existence.
According to the game’s website (yes, it exists), it’s being developed by Freedom 45 Games, and it’s tied to the Trump Coin. 🪙 Naturally, you can fund your account with cash, crypto, or TRUMP Coin-because why not? Oh, and you can trade NFT statues and pins. Because nothing says “billionaire” like digital trinkets. 🏆
According to a report from the Financial Times (FT) on Tuesday, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent has presented a list of four names to the White House. One of these is former Fed governor Kevin Warsh, whom Bessent is scheduled to meet with on Wednesday. Another is National Economic Council director Kevin Hassett, who is seen as the frontrunner for the role. 🦊
Having narrowly avoided a scandalous fall beneath $91,000, Bitcoin-ever the dramatic protagonist-launched another spirited advance toward $92,500 and even dared $94,000, as if seeking approval from high society. Alas, the bears, those dour and joyless relations, intervened near $94,583, compelling a polite but firm retreat-halfway down the Fib retracement level from the recent upswing (from $89,545 to $94,583), like a proper withdrawal after an overeager declaration of interest.
This enterprise, hatched in the fertile mind of Mr. Vivek Ramaswamy (a gentleman of many pursuits, and, one suspects, an enviable collection of silk scarves) in 2022, intends to utilize these funds-rather vaguely termed, I notice, as “general corporate purposes”-which include, crucially, the acquisition of more of the aforementioned ‘Bitcoin and Bitcoin-related products.’ A description so precise, yet so deliciously opaque. And, of course, for “working capital.” One imagines this involves a great deal of counting.
This dwindling of exchange reserves, it is suggested, signifies a confidence in the digital gold. A clever way, indeed, to avoid the prying eyes and grasping hands of the marketplace. Though, if one were to be cynical (and a good novelist must be cynical!), one might suspect a simple desire for independence, a rebellion against the centralizing forces of modern finance. Or maybe, they just don’t trust those exchange fellows. 🧐
These deals are essentially banks playing a high-stakes game of “pass the parcel,” buying crypto from one party and handing it over to another-like a slightly less exciting game of hot potato, but with way more zeros on the screen. The banks hold very little in the way of assets, which is fortunate, considering they’re basically acting as the digital equivalent of a diligent courier, not a finance powerhouse. 📦💸
Ah, the stablecoin! That curious beast, neither fish nor fowl, yet somehow the lifeblood of this new financial order. Waidmann, with a flourish worthy of a Moscow satirist, declares that Ethereum’s stablecoin transfers have surged past the trillions, leaving traditional payment networks in the dust. Is this the revolution, or merely a carnival of numbers? 🤡💸
Investors are betting on a 0.25% rate cut with the enthusiasm of a group of pigeons eyeing a breadcrumb. CME Group data says there’s a 90% chance of this happening, which is about the same odds as my neighbor finally fixing his lawn gnomes. Polymarket gamblers are also throwing their weight behind the cut, probably because they’ve run out of other hobbies. 🎲
