Saylor’s gamble-a word too gentle for his audacity-thrust him back onto the billionaire’s throne. This, after his infamous $6 billion vanishing act in March 2020. Yes, he lost more in a day than most lose in a lifetime, but who’s counting? Oh right, everyone. But with Bitcoin now, the man’s become a corporate folk hero and meme king. 📈💰
When the GENIUS Act-or, as I like to call it, “Genius, Truly!”-was shoveled through Congress in July 2025, it was as if a bureaucratic hurricane had blown through. Mandating full reserves, federal oversight, and a ‘nice and safe’ customer priority, it seemed quite stiff. But hidden beneath that paper mountain was a little gem: no interest paying for regulated stablecoins. Oh, the irony! 💸🚫
What could possibly have driven this man, who once stood at the helm of America’s crypto ambitions, to abandon ship so swiftly? Speculation runs rampant, like a wild stallion on the plains of uncertainty, as we ponder the implications of his hasty exit for the future of U.S. cryptocurrency policy. Will the ship sail smoothly, or are we destined for stormy seas? 🌊⚓
With inflation data expected to show modest rises, investors are eyeing potential rate cuts that could fuel bullish momentum. A most delicate balancing act, as if a lady’s fan were to sway the tides of fortune-though I suspect the gentlemen in charge of such matters are far less elegant.
Recently, the venerable halls of Harvard University have opened their coffers to reveal a sum of $116.6 million allocated to BlackRock’s IBIT Bitcoin ETF. A sum so grand, one might almost hear the echoes of Ivan the Terrible counting his gold. Meanwhile, the small yet ambitious nation of El Salvador has embarked on a bold venture, welcoming Bitcoin-focused investment banks, while the regulatory bureaucracy in Japan has put a temporary halt to the country’s first crypto ETF.
Yet, dear reader, the tale of Ethereum is not one of unblemished triumph. The altcoin, with its macro bullishness, faces a curious paradox, as the rising tides of Binance inflows threaten to drown its aspirations just as it approaches the shores of resistance.
Cardano (ADA)-once the hope of speculative babushkas everywhere-has already swooned by 2%, like a lovesick clerk left alone with expired kvas. Yet, in an act fit for a tragic opera, the price over the week has staggered upward by 9.29%. Even dead cats bounce, sometimes with panache!
Bitcoin coiled its lariat and yee-haw’d upward a whole 1.3 % in twenty-four hours-enough to make your Aunt Bessie’s apple pie rise in pride but still leave your pocketbook askin’, “That’s it, partner?” 🤏💸
After more than five years of legal wrangling that could make a soap opera look like a short story, many were eagerly anticipating a raucous celebration from Ripple’s leadership. But lo and behold, Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse decided to play the role of the silent monk, remaining as quiet as a church mouse for over 24 hours after the news broke. Perhaps he was busy contemplating the mysteries of the universe or just trying to find the perfect avocado toast recipe. 🥑
This shamefully inconvenient trendline, drawn from July’s giddy heights, serves as a velvet rope at the entrance to “Higher Ground”-and XRP, having been bounced twice already, looks less like a crypto asset and more like an unwelcome guest. Unless the bulls muster the sort of bravado that is usually reserved for duels or marriage proposals, there’s every chance XRP will continue its tepid waltz, momentum now slowing as if pausing to check its reflection in a gilt mirror. 🪞