Even with the deliciously elusive bitcoin (BTC) block reward feeling more like a fading mirage over the desert of frustration, our troupe of miners just keeps flexing those metaphorical biceps and pushing the network to dazzling new heights. Who needs a gym when you’ve got a rig that can bench press statistics?
After months of testing (and we can all agree that testing is just code for “we’re doing this because we totally have to”), Keeta processed more than 28.7 million transactions and pumped out 42.6 million blocks during its test phase. Is that impressive? Sure. Is it going to change the world? Well, stay tuned, darling. 📊
Apparently, these cyber-pirates broke into the multi-signature wallet – which, despite its fancy name, apparently wasn’t multi-sufficiently secure – and have been merrily scattering their loot across multiple CEX and DEX black hole-like exchanges. Because who doesn’t love spreading chaos in the decentralized garden?
Recently, a sage known simply as the Man of Bitcoin proclaimed from his digital pulpit that our dear Binance Coin (BNB) has flirted with its next lofty target in the mystic wave-3 prophecy, whispering rumors of a local summit-possibly where all the champagne bottles run dry.
Well now, Shiba Inu-which is mighty popular in all that meme coin hullabaloo-took a sudden slide, tumbling along with the whole market like a dog chasein’ its own tail. But don’t go lightin’ no candles for it just yet: it still done beat its cousin, Dogecoin, who in this rodeo took a worse spill. 🐕🦺
Bitcoin, that proud titan of the crypto world, has stumbled, its price dipping below the once-sacred threshold of $113K, now languishing at $112,667. A modest decline of 2.65%, one might say, yet in this realm of extremes, even the smallest retreat feels like a harbinger of doom. Ethereum, its eternal companion in this digital odyssey, has fared worse, plummeting by 6.40% to a humble $4,187. The altcoins, those lesser gods of the crypto pantheon, have not been spared, their losses as widespread as the autumn leaves in a Tolstoy novel.
Yes, dear reader, Plasma claims to have fixed the “clunky” interface problem-those moments when a simple transaction turns into an archaeological dig of app bugs and currency conversions. Now you can finally say goodbye to frustrating user experiences, as the platform caresses your digital wallet with gentle efficiency.
The second-largest token, in a rather dramatic gesture, has tiptoed into an “indecision zone,” as though pondering its very existence. Yet, in the grand theater of higher time frames, little has shifted-except that ETH flirted with rejection from its downward resistance line and, with the audacity of a mischievous schoolboy, shattered the downward support to rest at the newly minted $4068. Should ETH descend further, one can only imagine the faint-hearted scrambling in panic, clutching their digital wallets like a lifebuoy.
The esteemed Hayden Adams, a man who surely must wear golden slippers woven from blockchain code, announced this triumph with the smug satisfaction of a cat who’s stolen both cream and the dairy maid’s dignity. “Regulatory winds favor us now,” he declares, as if the SEC were but a pesky fly swatted away with a UNI token.
With these exuberant inflows flooding the digital wallets, the total Assets under Management soared to a Year-To-Date high of $40.4 billion. In layman’s terms: the market is sprinting toward last year’s $48.6 billion, likely to outpace it, or at least try really hard while eating a sandwich. 🥪📈
