On a fine Monday morning, amidst the coffee-stained papers and the ever-ticking clocks, Hougan pondered whether the year 2026 would finally see investors clutching Bitcoin and its cryptocurrency cousins in their 401(k) plans. It seems the notion of including these digital treasures is gaining ground, albeit slower than molasses on a cold day.
On the thirteenth day of January, in the year of our Lord 2023, Changpeng Zhao, the founder and former CEO of Binance, took to the digital pulpit of X to address the faithful. With a heart heavy with concern, he spoke of the meme coin frenzy, a spectacle of human greed and folly. “I am not against meme coins,” he proclaimed, “nor do I disdain the art of the meme. Yet, if thou dost ape into every meme coin born of my random tweets, thou art destined to lose thy treasure.” 🤑💨
A quiet triumph ensued as shareholders, possibly tired of the usual chaos, decided that more Bitcoin was the answer. 💤💰
From a technical standpoint, after kicking off 2026 with the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning, most top-cap assets have stumbled into the red like a sleep-deprived narcoleptic.
Most critics are pointing fingers at banking lobbyists. But hey, who doesn’t love a good corporate love triangle? Meanwhile, a smaller group is whispering, “Wait… the real winners are those crypto giants who were supposed to fight for us!” 🤭
Upon examining the sacred charts of ETH/USD and ETH/USDT, one might conclude that our beloved Ethereum is caught in a state of existential indecision, a quagmire of uncertainty. Binance’s data, like a sinister oracle, reveals an astonishing $8.79 billion in 24-hour trading volume, yet ETH/USDT remains ensnared in a web of consolidation. Above the $3,000 threshold, we cling to what seems to be a lifeline, preventing a deeper plunge into the abyss, even as the broader market sentiment oscillates wildly like a pendulum driven by unseen forces.
Now, according to the fine print-and I mean finer than a spider’s web-Changpeng Zhao, or CZ as he’s fondly dubbed (no relation to the famous magician, mind you), has taken a seat at the advisory table of this startup. They say it’s all about “alignment.” I reckon that’s just a fancy way of saying, “We’re in cahoots!” Armaan Kalsi, the big cheese and CEO of Genius, boldly claims he’s fashioning an on-chain Binance. Sounds a bit like making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear if you ask me! 🐷✨
The dream? A world where sending crypto is smoother than a country singer’s ballad, with fees that don’t spike higher than a barn-raising in July. No more sweating over gas prices like a hog at a barbecue. Just… peace. 🍋💸
Meanwhile, the cryptocurrency market traded marginally lower as the real-world asset (RWA) sector dragged prices lower. Bitcoin (BTC) dropped to a low of $90,174 on Monday before rebounding to reclaim $92,000. The flagship cryptocurrency is marginally up over the past 24 hours, trading around $92,020. 📉 Just a normal Tuesday, right? 🤷♀️
Salad.com, that GPU cloud platform with a heart of gold (and a few GPUs), teams up with Golem Network, the OG of decentralized computing. Together, they’re playing a high-stakes game of “Can DePIN protocols handle the real deal?” 🤔