It is a truth universally acknowledged that a gentleman in possession of too much Bitcoin must be in want of better financial advice. Yet Mr. Peter Schiff—gold enthusiast extraordinaire—found himself quite agitated, nay, apoplectic 🤯, over Bitcoin’s recent dalliances with politics, and of course, that most tempestuous of figures, one Mr. Donald Trump.
“To cloak a decentralized Ponzi scheme in the very fabric of patriotism!” Schiff declared to the digital masses, his outrage palpable as pen met paper (or rather, finger met keyboard). “Has society learned nothing from history? Or do we simply enjoy repeating our follies with renewed vigor?”
By promoting domestic investment in Bitcoin and crypto, Trump is helping undermine the U.S. economy and speed up the dollar’s collapse. Bitcoiners may cheer, as most bought Bitcoin to profit from a dollar crash. But ironically, gold will be the winner as Bitcoin will crash too.
Mr. Schiff, ever the champion of that most noble metal, gold, predicted—with no small amount of smug satisfaction—that while Bitcoin enthusiasts may briefly rejoice at the weakening of the dollar, they shall soon find their digital fortunes crumbling beneath them. “Gold shall stand triumphant,” he proclaimed, as if already envisioning himself hoisting a chalice of golden tea in celebration.
A Most Egregious Scheme ☠️
“Legislative folly!” Schiff scoffed, dismissing recent cryptocurrency bills as nothing more than fig leaves upon a naked deception. “To think that lawmakers would dignify this charade—nay, this decentralized Ponzi scheme!—with the veneer of legitimacy!” He lamented that clever financiers were merely inflating prices so they might abscond like thieves in the night, pockets jingling with ill-gotten gains.
Tulips All Over Again! 🌷→💥
Drawing upon the wisdom of Mr. Mackay—that venerable chronicler of collective madness—Schiff noted, “Every age has its peculiar folly.” Indeed, the Dutch tulip frenzy of centuries past now finds its echo in the frenzied trading of digital coins. “Replace ‘tulip’ with ‘Bitcoin,'” Schiff mused, “and history repeats itself with alarming precision.”
“They go mad in herds, and only recover their senses slowly, and one by one.”
The Dutch, once so sensible, had abandoned honest industry for tulip speculation—much as modern society, Schiff implied, now neglects prudent economics in favor of chasing digital rainbows 🌈💰. “Collective delusion!” he cried into the void—though, alas, few seemed inclined to listen.
Thus, dear reader, we find ourselves at a crossroads: Will Bitcoin triumph, or will gold reign supreme once more? Mr. Schiff has placed his bet—and with a flourish of his quill, he awaits history’s verdict. 💫
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2025-07-19 16:28