My Crypto App Just Died & Took $8M With It 😱💸

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So, picture this: me, Bunni the DEX (yes, I’m anthropomorphizing a decentralized exchange now, get over it), was just vibing, offering liquidity like a digital Robin Hood, when-BAM!-September drops the mother of all plot twists. Turns out I had a tiny flaw, darling. Like leaving your front door open in central London and hoping no one nicks the telly. Over $8.4 million in USDC and USDT? Gone. Vanished. As if they never existed. So now, I’m shutting down. Cue sad indie soundtrack 🎵.

How the Disaster Unfolded (Spoiler: It Wasn’t Pretty)

Turns out, some very dedicated hackers took one look at my Ethereum and Unichain smart contracts, spotted a teensy flaw in the Liquidity Distribution Function (fancy, right?), and went full Netflix villain. They exploited flash loans and rounding errors-because nothing says “I hate decimal places” like stealing millions. It’s like someone walked into a bank, asked for $10, then left with $10 million because the calculator rounded up. 😑

The team-bless their overworked, caffeine-addicted hearts-say getting back up and running would cost anywhere from “ouch” to “sell-your-kidney” levels of audit and monitoring fees (six to seven figures, FYI). Which… no. Not happening. They’ve already drafted a profoundly tragic tweet that starts with “Hello everyone, it is with saddened hearts…”-because nothing says “blockchain failure” like corporate grief in 280 characters.

Hello everyone, it is with saddened hearts that we announce the shutdown of Bunni.

The recent exploit has forced Bunni’s growth to a halt, and in order to securely relaunch we’d need to pay 6-7 figures in audit & monitoring expenses alone – requiring capital that we simply don’t…

– Bunni (@bunni_xyz) October 23, 2025 🕯️💔

We did what any self-respecting crybaby project would do: froze everything, offered a 10% bounty (yes, we literally said “please give it back, here’s a bonus 🎁”), and waited. Crickets. The hacker? Still ghosting us. Rude. Previous audits by Trail of Bits and Cyfrin? Polite yawns. The issue wasn’t code-level-no, darling, it was a logic flaw. Translation: Someone forgot to think things through. Like bringing a flip-flop to a fire drill.

Since the incident, our Total Value Locked plummeted from over $60M to “crickets again.” Trading? Dead. Development? Coma. The platform now exists solely as a memorial site (you can still withdraw assets, though-small mercies ✝️).

The Afterparty (a.k.a. What’s Left)

But wait! It’s not ALL doom and legal subpoenas. In a move that screams “we’re emotionally exhausted but morally upright,” the team is switching their v2 smart contracts from BUSL to MIT. That’s right, folks-free code for ALL. Want to build a DEX with LDFs, surge fees, and auto-rebalancing? Go ahead! Just don’t screw up the logic this time. 🫶

They’re still proactively engaging with law enforcement (translation: hoping the hacker trips over their own lambo keys) and plan to distribute the remaining treasury to BUNNI, LIT, and veBUNNI holders-after surviving the legal meat grinder. Team members? Excluded. Because even in crypto, karma sometimes shows up in a suit.

And let’s be real-2025 has been rough for blockchain security. Over $3.1 billion lost to hacks so far, according to Hacken. At this rate, we might need a reality show: Survivor: Web3 Edition. Last one not exploited wins a hoodie and regret.

Moral of the story? Love hard, audit harder, and never trust rounding errors. 💔🔐

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2025-10-23 10:41