Money Talks: 64 Companies Are Hoarding Bitcoin Like It’s the Last Doughnut!

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Well, slap me with a virtual wallet! Earlier this week, our pals at TopMob swooped in with a report that’s hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna, revealing how public firms are gobbling up ethereum (ETH) like it’s the last slice of pizza. But hold onto your lederhosen—we’re swinging back to the main act: Bitcoin, the original get-rich-quick scheme (not financial advice)! 🍕💸

Bitcoin Balance Sheets Go Big (and Comically Outrageous)

According to the bitcoin treasury stats from Bitcoin Magazine Pro, 64 publicly traded companies are now clutching bitcoin (BTC) as if it were the golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Together, they’re sitting on a treasure trove of 852,328 BTC. From the big wigs like Strategy (formerly Microstrategy) and the glamazon Tesla to some mining whippersnappers and fintech wannabes, it’s clear—bitcoin is their new best friend! 🎩💰

Leading the pack is our heavyweight champ, Strategy (Nasdaq: MSTR), with a jaw-dropping 607,770 BTC—that’s about $71.97 billion, folks! They’re not just sitting on it; they added a cheeky 6,220 BTC this week! Talk about a corporate level hoarding! It’s so big, it makes the Great Wall look like a picket fence! 🏴‍☠️💎

In the number two spot, we have MARA Holdings (Nasdaq: MARA) flinging around 50,000 BTC worth about $5.92 billion. This bitcoin mining firm has been stockpiling like it’s Black Friday every day since the dawn of time! 🛒💥

Coming in third, we have XXI (Ticker: XXI), lounging with 37,230 BTC, approximately $4.41 billion. Riot Platforms Inc. (Nasdaq: RIOT) is trailing like a puppy on a leash with 19,223 BTC valued at $2.28 billion. Who knew mining could feel like a stroll in the park? 🌳🐶

And across the pond in Asia, Tokyo-listed Metaplanet Inc. (TYO:3350) has become Japan’s bitcoin superhero, saving the day with 16,352 BTC worth $1.94 billion. Meanwhile, Canadian-based Galaxy Digital Holdings (TSE:GLXY) is right there with 12,830 BTC worth $1.52 billion. It’s like a modern-day gold rush, and everybody’s trying to strike it rich! 💵✨

But wait, there’s more! Not one to be left out, Trump Media is making headlines today with an announcement that it has acquired $2 billion worth of BTC. Now that’s a headline that’ll knock your socks off! Shocking, right? 🤨🧦

The top 15 out of 64 companies listed on Bitcoin Magazine Pro’s “Top Public Bitcoin Treasury Companies” list. A real cornucopia of corporate collectors!

Cleanspark Inc. (Nasdaq: CLSK) is tugging at those bitcoin strings with 12,500 BTC worth $1.48 billion—I hope they’re keeping that close! And our buddy Elon Musk and his Tesla (Nasdaq: TSLA) still clutch those 11,509 BTC like it’s a secret sauce; that’s a tasty $1.36 billion! 🍔🚀

Hut 8 Mining Corp (Nasdaq: HUT) is in the limelight with 10,273 BTC. Coinbase Global Inc. (Nasdaq: COIN) isn’t sitting back either with 9,480 BTC, making both over $1 billion each! Talk about dollar signs in their eyes! 💰👀

Further still down this rabbit hole, Gamestop Corp. (NYSE: GME) enters the fray with 4,710 BTC, and behind them, Semler Scientific is holding onto 4,636 BTC. It’s a smorgasbord of crypto-happy companies! 🍩🤪

As we list dive further into the sea of corporate bitcoin-holders, we can’t forget those smaller sharks swimming along with 1,800 BTC; it’s clear—these firms are not just playing games—they’re in it for the long run, believing bitcoin is more than just a fad. It’s the new strategic asset! 💎⏳

While Strategy’s jaw-dropping stash hogs the spotlight, the real show is how bitcoin’s becoming the talk of the town in corporate treasury strategies. Guess what? As regulations stabilize and companies see the light, we may just find ourselves swamped with more boardrooms turning into Bitcoin fan clubs. Who knew finance could be this much fun? 🎉🚀

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2025-07-22 00:10