Market Mayhem: ‘Bond King’ Predicts S&P 500 Plunge! 💸😱

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Ah, the illustrious Jeffrey Gundlach, the so-called ‘Bond King’—a title that sounds rather regal, don’t you think? Well, he’s donned his bearish cape and is casting a rather gloomy shadow over the US stock market, all thanks to those pesky import tariffs that are as high as 50%. One might say it’s a bit like a royal decree, but with less pomp and more panic.

In a delightful tête-à-tête with CNBC, our dear Gundlach predicts the S&P 500 will take a nosedive of about 14%. How charming! It’s as if he’s suggesting we all hold our breath and brace for impact. 🥴

“Investors, my darlings, it’s time to don your defensive armor! We’re certainly prepared for the impending doom. And if you’re holding cash, do keep it close until we find a more stable bottom. I’m eyeing a rather specific 4,500 on the S&P [500 index],” he quips, as if he’s discussing the latest fashion trends rather than a financial forecast.

Now, this billionaire, who earned his moniker due to his dazzling success in the bond market post-2008, believes that the uncertainty swirling around the market, courtesy of those tariffs, is here to stay. It’s like a bad guest at a party who just won’t leave.

“People are whispering about delays in tariffs. Oh, please! That’s not happening. I suspect [US President Donald] Trump will keep this circus going,” he muses, with a hint of sarcasm that could cut through steel.

“And honestly, how does he come up with this bizarre formula for tariffs? It’s like a math problem gone awry. At least it’s a formula, albeit one that seems to defy logic. Otherwise, it’s just a game of chance!” Ah, the joys of economics!

“But he’s keeping us all on our toes, isn’t he? I doubt he’ll back down anytime soon. This little drama will unfold over weeks, if not months. So, grab your popcorn!”

As of now, the S&P 500 is trading at a rather dismal 5,222, down over 10% since the year began. Cheers to that! 🥂

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2025-04-09 12:22