Lawmakers Are About To Make Texas Rich (Or Ridiculously Embarrassed) With Bitcoin Gamble

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The winds of fate have wafted the grand Strategic Bitcoin Reserve (SBR) bill through the hallowed halls of Texan lawmaking, placing the Lone Star State on the very threshold of joining the “Crypto State Club”—right behind trailblazing Arizona and New Hampshire, whose own SBR escapades are now the stuff of bedtime stories for hedge fund managers and devoted meme lords alike.

Can Texas Hodl? Decision Day Looms Larger Than A Rodeo Clown’s Ego

On Wednesday, the House Committee for Delivery of Government Efficiency—yes, it’s actually called “DOGE” (one suspects a prankster)—tipped their cowboy hats to Senate Bill 21, shoving it further down the legislative rodeo. The bill, ridden by the intrepid Senator Charles Schwertner, wants Texas’s comptroller to try their hand in the wild and occasionally woolly world of cryptocurrencies—provided the digital critter has bulked up its market capitalization to at least $500 billion in the last year. No Dogecoin for the state, alas; Shiba Inu fans, say your piece and weep.

After a neat 9-4 vote—undoubtedly lubricated by copious amounts of barbecue and the faint whiff of nachos—SB 21 gallops toward a House floor vote. Earlier, it gallivanted out of the Senate with a resounding 25-5, which in legislative terms is practically a standing ovation and a shower of confetti.

Pierre Rochard, who captains the good ship Bitcoin Bond Company, reckons there’s a decent chance Texas will soon be able to declare, “Y’all, we’ve got an SBR!” However, as with all good Texas tales, the punchline is still missing: how much Bitcoin will the state actually pile up? Enough to buy a modest barbecue joint? A used space shuttle? The suspense could melt a snow cone.

In a thrilling subplot, Senator Schwertner’s original magnum opus—Senate Bill 778—was a tad fussy, capping yearly Bitcoin splurges at $500 million and setting up enough red tape to gift-wrap the moon. Apparently, that was too belt-and-braces even for Texans, so Schwertner tossed out the cap, renamed his darling SB21, and added any crypto beast whopper enough to squeeze into the $500 billion club.

Julian Fahrer of Bitcoin Laws fame suggests we’ll have white (or very sweaty) knuckles until June 2, by which date Texas’s House will either lift SB21 high—or deliver it the kind of veto known only to failed talent show contestants. If it makes it, it saunters over to the Governor for a signature or a withering glare.

America’s States: Who Can Buy Crypto The Fastest? 🏁

Trying to outdo Texas, New Hampshire and Arizona have already donned their “Crypto Pioneer” cowboy boots. New Hampshire’s Governor, Kelly Ayotte, recently scribbled her name on House Bill 302, permitting up to 5% of state piggybank funds to chase the digital gold—if it has a $500 billion market cap and, presumably, a good sense of humor. Meanwhile, Arizona’s Governor, Katie Hobbs, signed HB 2740—this one technically creates a crypto reserve, though more as a parking lot for unclaimed assets, surprise airdrops, and staking rewards.

The platform Bitcoin Laws, never one to miss an opportunity for a dramatic aside, announced that Governor Hobbs might finally be warming to crypto legislation after recently vetoing a bill, effectively telling the Arizona Strategic Bitcoin Reserve Act: “Not tonight, dear. Still too untested.” That bill wanted public funds—like the state treasurer’s—managed with a touch more laser-eye energy.

Still, there’s hope: Senate Bill 1373 (limiting itself to less retirement-risky pursuits) is now pirouetting toward Hobbs’s desk after getting a Senate thumbs-up. Will the governor at last embrace her inner Satoshi? Stay tuned for more suspense than an amateur escape room.

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2025-05-09 05:20