Ah, the folly of man! Behold, the streets of Nairobi hath been graced with Bitcoin ATMs, sprouting like mushrooms in the night, mere days after Kenya’s grand crypto law was proclaimed. A stress test, you say? Nay, ’tis a farce! The regulators, with their quills and parchment, declare no crypto provider is authorized, yet the machines stand bold, mocking their decrees. 😏
The local scribes of Capital News doth report that these “Bankless Bitcoin” contraptions have taken their place beside the humble banking kiosks in the grand malls. Cash-to-crypto, they offer, as if the very coins of the realm were but playthings for the masses. 🤑
Mark well, this is not the first time such machines have appeared. In the annals of 2018, BitClub didst install their devices, yet they languished, unused by the common folk. Now, they return, bolder and more brazen, as if to say, “Regulations? We laugh at thy rules!” 😂
CoinATMradar, that trusty chronicler of such marvels, doth claim but two ATMs exist in all of Kenya. Yet, lo! The new arrivals multiply like loaves and fishes, defying both logic and the law. 🌮
And when did this madness begin? Why, but weeks after the Virtual Assets Service Providers Act of 2025 was enacted! A grand framework, they called it, for wallet operators, exchanges, and custodians. The Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) and the Capital Markets Authority (CMA) were to rule with wisdom and justice. Yet, here we stand, in chaos. 🤹♂️
The CBK Doth Cry, “No License Hath Been Granted!”
Alas, the law is but ink on paper, for the regulations to license these VASPs are yet to be issued. Thus, the providers operate in a void, neither legal nor illegal, but absurd. The CBK and CMA, in a joint decree, proclaim no VASP is authorized, yet the machines persist, as if they care not for such trifles. 🕵️♂️
“No license hath been granted!” they cry, yet the National Treasury, with its slow and ponderous ways, doth promise regulations soon. Until then, the crypto providers dance unchecked, a mockery of order. 🎭
Behold the mismatch! Crypto infrastructure doth invade the malls, while the regulators wring their hands, warning the public of unauthorized operators. Enforcement? Compliance? Ha! ’Tis a comedy of errors, played out in the grand theater of Kenya. 🎪
Bitcoin, From Kibera’s Shadows to the Ivory Towers of Malls
Mark the irony! Bitcoin ATMs, once confined to the backstreets of Kibera, now grace the upscale malls. The informal crypto ecosystem flourisheth, despite the regulatory gray areas. In Kibera, where banks are but a distant dream, Bitcoin is king, offering financial freedom to those with naught but a dollar a day. 👑
“No savings, no paperwork, no worries!” cries AfriBit Africa’s Ronnie Mdawida. “With Bitcoin, they hold value, unencumbered by the chains of traditional banking.” Yet, in the malls, the ATMs stand, a symbol of the absurdity of it all. 🏦
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2025-11-19 16:38