Kashkari Roasts Crypto: ‘Utterly Useless’ – Fed Chief Drops the Mic!

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Oh, the drama! The U.S. economy is like a bad soap opera, but with more charts and fewer love triangles. On one side, you’ve got the “Everything’s Fine!” crew, insisting the economy is stronger than a bodybuilder on a protein shake binge. On the other, Neel Kashkari, the Minneapolis Fed’s resident comedian, is busy trashing crypto like it’s a bad sequel to Spaceballs. Spoiler alert: he called it “utterly useless.” Grab your popcorn, folks-this is gonna be good!

Fed Minutes: Rate Cuts? Nah, Let’s Spice Things Up!

The Fed minutes dropped, and guess what? They’re not in the mood for rate cuts. Some regional Fed presidents are even whispering about raising rates. Because, you know, why not add a little chaos to the mix? Meanwhile, former Deputy Treasury Secretary Michael Faulkender is over here claiming deregulation, tax reform, and energy expansion will make the economy sing like a Broadway star. AI and energy development? Apparently, they’re the secret sauce to 5% growth and 1% inflation. Sure, Jan.

Critics? Oh, they’re having a field day. “The Fed’s models are outdated!” they cry. “They forgot about AI and tax cuts!” Well, excuse me for not trusting a model that still thinks fax machines are cutting-edge.

Kashkari’s Crypto Takedown: ‘Utterly Useless’ – Mic Drop Included

Enter Neel Kashkari, the man who clearly missed his calling as a stand-up comedian. At the Midwest Economic Outlook Summit, he didn’t just criticize crypto-he roasted it like a Thanksgiving turkey. “Crypto has been around for over a decade, and it’s utterly useless,” he declared. Ouch. Someone call the burn unit.

He even compared crypto to AI, which, according to him, actually does something useful. Oof. Talk about a backhanded compliment. And don’t get him started on stablecoins. “They’re a threat to banks!” he warned. Because, apparently, banks are the real victims here. Who knew?

Cross Border Payments? More Like Crossed Wires

Crypto fans love to brag about faster cross-border payments. Kashkari? Not impressed. “Yeah, you can send tokens instantly,” he said, “but then you’ve gotta convert them into real money. Good luck with that.” Basically, he’s calling it a glorified shell game. And his solution? A single global currency. Because nothing says “world peace” like giving up monetary control. Sure, that’ll happen.

He also took a swing at stablecoin explanations, calling them “word salad nonsense.” Honestly, he’s not wrong. Ever tried explaining crypto to your grandma? Exactly.

Crypto Markets: Brace for Impact… or Don’t

Kashkari’s comments hit the crypto market like a ton of bricks. Or maybe a lightly tossed salad. Who knows? With rate cuts on hold and Fed officials trashing crypto, it’s like a double whammy of uncertainty. Bitcoin and altcoins? They’re sweating more than a tourist in a sauna. And regulators? They’re probably high-fiving Kashkari behind closed doors.

So, what’s next? Will crypto rise from the ashes like a phoenix? Or will it crash and burn like a bad reality TV show? Stay tuned, folks. The economy’s a circus, and we’ve got front-row seats!

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2026-02-20 14:36