A U.S. judge has told Justin Sun to stop throwing crypto-shaped tantrums, denying his bid to block Bloomberg from publishing his “secret” crypto stash. 🚨
Because nothing says “I’m a crypto kingpin” like suing a news outlet over math homework. 😂
Tron’s favorite crypto wizard, Justin Sun, tried to pull a Houdini this week by suing Bloomberg for daring to ask, “Wait… how much Bitcoin do you *actually* have?” Spoiler: The judge wasn’t buying it. 🎩
Judge Denies Justin Sun’s Bid to Stop Bloomberg (Because Obviously)
Judge Colm Connolly, who clearly didn’t get the memo about being a drama queen, ruled, “Nope. Bloomberg can say you’re rich. You’re already Twitter’s Most Valuable Poster Boy for ‘Look How Much I Own.’” 🧁
“Bloomberg’s gonna Bloomberg. And Justin’s gonna cry about it. 🤡”
– Molly White (@molly0xFFF)
Sun argued that publishing his portfolio would turn him into a “target for hackers.” Judge Connolly fired back with, “You posted your Bitcoin balance on X (formerly Twitter) like it’s your dating profile. 📱💀”
Justin Sun’s Crypto Hoard: A Numbers Game
According to court docs, Sun’s crypto stash could buy a small island nation: 60 billion TRX (no, not “TRX” as in “treadmill,” but close), 17k BTC, 224k ETH, and enough USDT to flood the Cayman Islands. 🌊
Bloomberg offered Sun a lifeline: “Hey, buddy, wanna fact-check your billionaire résumé?” Sun’s response? “Absolutely not. Now I’m suing you.” 🤷♂️
Legal Arguments: Sun’s Team Tries to Sound Concerned
Sun’s lawyers claimed Bloomberg’s report would “endanger his life.” The judge replied, “So did tweeting your crypto address with ‘#BillionaireFlex.’” 🗣️
Judge Connolly added, “You’re like the guy who yells ‘I’m invisible!’ while wearing a neon speedo. 🌈”
SEC Drama: The Sequel
Meanwhile, the SEC’s lawsuit against Sun is stuck in “hold on for 10 minutes” mode since 2023. Some say it’s because the agency is busy… or maybe they’re just watching the drama unfold with popcorn. 🍿
WLFI: The Telenovela Continues
Sun’s feud with World Liberty Financial (WLFI) sounds like a Netflix series: “Crypto Billionaires vs. The Trumpverse.” WLFI froze his tokens, and Sun’s response? “Release the assets… or I’ll tweet harder!” 📺
Judge Connolly’s final words: “This isn’t a courtroom. It’s a circus. And I’m just the ringmaster who doesn’t get paid enough for this nonsense. 🤡🎪”
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2025-09-25 12:48