Is This Banker About to Crash Canada’s Party? 🤯

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What to know (While Wondering if Maple Syrup Is Stronger Than Coffee ☕):

  • Mark Carney appears poised to sashay into a fourth term for the Liberals, with Myriad Markets gossiping about a whopping 74% chance of victory. (Someone save us from victory dances!)
  • The once-mighty Conservative Party saw its poll numbers shrivel faster than a leftover poutine, thanks to Justin Trudeau’s resignation and dreadful economic drama.
  • Crypto? Apparently as fashionable as snow boots in July, with everyone fussing about real money problems and neighborly spats instead. 😬

Back in January, when dear Justin Trudeau declared his exit from Canada’s political catwalk, the nation braced for utter pandemonium. All the polls (and possibly your great-aunt’s crystal ball) shouted “Chaos ahead!” if an election were called.

Yet here we are, gawking at the possibility of a shocking fourth term for the Liberal Party. Our star? Former Bank of Canada and Bank of England super-banker Mark Carney, crowned with a Myriad Markets contract placing him at a 74% chance of waltzing into office like it’s his personal after-party. 🕺

Mind you, way back in January, CBC predicted that Pierre Poilievre’s Conservatives would seize the day (and Parliament) to the tune of 244 seats, which is basically the political equivalent of hogging the entire Tim Hortons donut shelf.

Trudeau’s Liberals, once the darlings of Ottawa, were flirting with third place. Meanwhile, the Bloc Quebecois stood ready to dethrone everyone else (though only in Quebec, naturellement). But as we all know, politics changes its tune faster than a Canadian can apologize.

January 6 marked the official day Trudeau said, “Au revoir,” leaving behind what one very dramatic columnist called “a legacy of chaos and disaster.” (No pressure for the new guys, right?)

This election coverage is part of an oh-so-exclusive arrangement between Myriad Markets and Consensus by CoinDesk. Consensus 2025 will hit Toronto May 14-16, so bring your maple-glazed optimism. 🇨🇦🍁

Naturally, the Conservatives had been campaigning well before Trudeau’s exit, banging on about inflation, housing horrors, and general wallet despondency. Voters, in a fit of Canadian politeness, initially said, “Yes, that’s nice,” but quickly changed their minds once Trudeau no longer occupied center stage.

On January 7, with Trudeau off to presumably read memes in a cozy cabin, Pierre Poilievre suddenly lost his comedic foil, and the polls started slipping away. It’s hard to be outraged when your biggest target is sipping hot cocoa somewhere remote.

Then, enter Donald Trump, because clearly why should Canada have all the fun? A trade war with the United States—the kind of thing we all joked about at dinner parties—suddenly became as real as a rainy Vancouver weekend.

Meanwhile, Carney dashed in, replaced Trudeau, and—ta-da!—gave the Liberals a rocket boost in the polls. Canadians apparently adore a banker who’s done time on both Bay Street and Wall Street, especially when the other guy’s highlight reel is basically “lifelong political operator.”

Now, Myriad Markets claims Carney will soon be Canada’s twenty-fourth prime minister, so best prepare the Timmies and conflict-free celebratory confetti.

For those longing to gamble on everything from Carney’s hair gel brand to the release date of Grand Theft Auto VI, Myriad Markets has you covered with about 30 different ways to part you from your money. 🤑

Crypto not on the Ballot (Shocking, We Know 😱)

The Trump campaign tried to woo folks with crypto talk, imagining big headlines and bigger crowds. Pierre Poilievre once declared he’d turn Canada into the “Blockchain capital of the world,” presumably holding up a priceless (or worthless?) Purpose Bitcoin ETF. But apparently only 13% of Canadians dabble in crypto, which must make it about as newsworthy as Decaf Double-Double Day.

Turns out, corporate money in politics up north is nowhere near the American extravaganza, so fewer people can buy fancy dinner parties to talk about their sizzling NFTs. Meanwhile, both Poilievre and the crypto industry seem to have bigger fish to fry, like that giant invisible elephant known as “the economy.”

Whoever wins this jaw-dropping race will inherit provincial security regulators, so any crypto highlights might read like “Let’s see what the provinces say, folks!” Not exactly the stuff of epic campaign posters.

Still, be sure to check out the lively discussions on crypto regulation come May 14-16 at Consensus 2025 in Toronto. If nothing else, it’s a splendid excuse to see who might drop a sizzling Bitcoin pun while sampling a maple bacon donut. 🍁

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2025-04-10 16:57