Is Tether’s Banker in the Final Frontier? 🚀🪐

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As the galaxy’s financial maestro, BitMEX co-founder Arthur Hayes has thrown a galactic-sized warning that Tether is playing a risky game of interstellar poker with its bitcoin and gold reserves.

After conducting a tour of the nearest informational space station, his space-mail from the 30th of November illuminates the structural death rays in Tether’s prized asset allocation. In plain So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish speak, this means they think abandoning their traditional government debt helmet for something more thrilling – like volatile cosmic treasures – is a great idea. Reminds one of that time Marvin the Paranoid Android spent his entire existence listening to philosophical rants rather than doing his one task!

Hayes Deciphers Tether’s Stellar Arrangements

Hayes, in his infinite wisdom gleaned from the Tether’s attestation of the third quarter in the distant future year 2025, remarks on a significant leap into the non-fiat-corona asteroid belt. Here’s where it gets bumpy: the issuer holds $12.9 billion in precious metals and $9.9 billion in Bitcoin.

His theory? Tether is as strategically placing bets on the Galactic Credit Choir backing a cut to the Federal Reserve’s interest rates – crushing their hopes of ample interest income. “Oh, dear,” he muses, “they’re buying gold and BTC, betting they will ascend to the moon as the cost of money plummets.”

“[Tether] thinks the Fed will cut rates, annihilating their interest income. As a countermeasure, they’re investing in gold and BTC, assets that supposedly should skyrocket as the cost of money sinks.”

Yet, Hayes suspects this cosmic waltz might entangle Tether in a web of asymmetric risk within its fairly meager layer of equity.

Furthermore, according to his deductions, this layer stretches thinner than a Vogon poetry reading, topping the firm’s surplus capital, leaving Tether in a safety state as real as a Yeti among hedgehogs. He imagines a mass panic chain reaction: large holders and exchanges demanding transparency equal to that of Slartibartfast’s navigational archives.

Curiously, this warning aligns with the gloomy perspective of the cosmic inspectorate, S&P Global, whose rating of USDT stands at a comically low ‘5’. Who could possibly overlook such a suspicious event?

Cosmic Defenders of Tether

Unfazed by such harrowing warnings, advocates for Tether turn the dial to rationality, distinguishing accounting binary star systems from tangible liquidity asteroids.

Enter Tran Hung, the paparazzi-flashy CEO of UQUID Card, who sweeps away the warnings as misfired thrusters. He insists the lion’s share of Tether’s galactic treasure trove – a money armada better known as $181.2 billion – finds refuge in the calm and unexciting ‘liquid, low-risk’ havens.

Indeed, their recent audits assure us that Tether is hoarding $112.4 billion in US Treasury Bills and enjoying $21 billion in celestial repo agreements.

Hung declares these “Cash and Cash Equivalents” craft a scream-proof liquidity shield, mighty enough to guarantee the vast majority of USDT survives even the cruelest space squalls.

And so, he proclaims, Tether would remain freakishly redeemable should the liquidity plasmoids get greedy and gobble up its equity buffer.

“Tether has showcased a redemption prowess, including $25 billion in a cosmic blink (20 days during the 2022 FTX black hole escape), one of the epic liquidity trials known to the universe.”

Cutting to the core of the matter, Cory Klippsten, the head honcho at Swan Bitcoin, highlights that Tether dances with riskier partners than some intergalactic banks.

“Tether is rocking a leverage of about 26 times, armed with a 3.7% equity shield. Three quarters of assets are temporarily vested in sovereign space debris and repo deals; the remaining quarter is invested in a cocktail of BTC, gold, loans, and those thrillingly mysterious investments,” Klippsten reports.

As per his estimation, a small 4% portfolio scuffle would wipe away their common equity buffs. Or, a 16% stumble in these high stakes assets would just as surely land them face-first in the cosmic dust.

But fear not! The profitability of Tether is like a hyperactive Babel Fish in the midst, on track for a stellar $15 billion profit. Not to mention, recent whispers tell us that the Tether overlords withdrew a shiny $12 billion dividend.

The result? Should their financial spaceship ever be in danger of escaping the edge of the space-time continuum, they’d be ready to rocket the money back into place immediately!

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2025-11-30 16:34