Ah! Observe, dear friends, the latest invention from the grand theater of Google: a miraculous trick called zero-knowledge proofs now gracing your humble Google Wallet. Imagine! You may present yourself at the virtual gates, declare your years sufficiently ripe for all manner of online amusements, yet not spill a single bean about your most sensitive dates! Not even your own mother-in-law could ferret them out.
Is this not the very masque of privacy? The mighty and mysterious algorithms now escort you across the threshold of cryptographic elegance, so you may sip your digital wine and frolic on Bumble without scandal or unsolicited birthday greetings.
“When titans such as Google surreptitiously lace their apps with Zero-Knowledge Proofs, do we not see that the privacy farce has reached the common man? Nay, the very next act calls for compliant privacy solutions with nary a headache for the poor regulators,” quoth Rob Viglione, sage of Horizen Labs, in dispatch to crypto.news.
Age thresholds for online purchases
Behold! ZKPs now stand vigilant by your side, courtesy of Google’s Digital Credential API, observing the sacred law of age—for purchasing both spirits and a spirited conversation—with naught but a dignified nod. What magic is this, where one’s age is revealed not a jot more than required, and yet one’s privacy remains as untouched as a dowager’s secret?
With much self-congratulation, Google proclaims upon its blog: “We are forging a contraption to verify your age that shields your identity. In this age, to check an age, no gaze shall fall upon the true year of your birth. Not even your barber will know.”
Viglione, in tones both weary and wise, cries: “The time’s past for privacy to be a pesky afterthought! It must reign as the default—like powdered wigs in Versailles!” Even the grand companies nod, overcome with reason or perhaps wine.
And yet, lest you imagine Google keeps these conjuring tricks to itself—they throw wide the backstage door! The ZKP sorcery is to be open source, that others might also don the mask of anonymity. The cast widens: American states, the land of the Britons, and fifty kingdoms more shall soon know this privacy pantomime.
So, gentle reader, next time you are asked your age, deliver not your history—but only a wink. For what is life but a comedy, and what is Google but its jester? 🎭🔒
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2025-05-02 21:33