How Tether Stashed $120B in Treasuries and Still Had Time to Make $1B in Q1

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There’s a thing you learn out here in the dust and weeds, among the markets and the money men: when a company announces it’s got $120 billion of Treasuries tucked away, you might as well picture a farmer plowing corn with a gold plow.
Tether, that odd beast, slots government paper as if lining a fence with silver, each bill a wooden post. Seems their “conservative reserve strategy”—which is just a Jamesian way of saying, “We’re less crazy than everyone else”—has paid off handsomely, to the tune of a billion-dollar profit. Oh, and gold too. Not the panning-by-the-creek kind, more like insurance when the crypto winds pick up and blow half your barn door off.
Anyway, they’re sitting atop $5.6 billion extra in reserves. If they were any more liquid, they’d be a puddle out back after a spring rain.

USD₮ Wallets Surge and Supply Expands

First quarter of 2025: Tether’s dollar herd thickened by another $7 billion. As if that wasn’t enough, 46 million new wallets appeared, a thirteen percent jump like mice breeding in a grain silo. Guess folks are so spooked by regular banks they trust a stablecoin named after a sea monster. If you’re reading this and you don’t have a Tether wallet, you’re officially behind the times—and possibly living blissfully off the grid.

Investments and Regulatory Expansion

As for investments, Tether’s throwing $2 billion down the well, chasing dreams of AI, renewable energy, and decentralized what-zit (so the robots and the windmills can someday tell you about the new, improved windmills). These are not backing their magic internet money, mind you. Wouldn’t want things to make too much sense.
Oh, and in El Salvador, Tether got itself regulated—kind of like letting the fox have the run of the henhouse, but now the henhouse has a “licensed stablecoin issuer” plaque nailed to the front. Expansion, they call it. Progress, maybe. More like a new signpost on the long, winding, slightly ridiculous road to financial innovation. At least it ain’t boring. 🤑🐔

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2025-05-02 03:19